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Song Parodies -> "The Very Model of a Music Stager Ven'rable"

Original Song Title:

"The Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert 6 Sullivan/Pirates of Penzance

Parody Song Title:

"The Very Model of a Music Stager Ven'rable"

Parody Written by:

Lifeliver

The Lyrics

I think this is what AIRheads call a 'smoosh'? I'm working on a reverse one, i.e. if Don McLean wrote G & S, but that's a lot harder. As Tom Turtle declared recently, there's nothing that can't be done in the world of parody.

Rather than repeat three lines for the choruses, I've changed the third one each time.

THE VERY MODEL OF A MUSIC STAGER VEN'RABLE

(If Gilbert & Sullivn had written 'American Pie')

He was the very model of a music stager ven'rable
But information terrible on doorstep: life untenable
Ago when king was Elvis, Clear Lake, snowy night historical
Young Richie, the Big Bopper too - if only they'd had oracle
Not very well, near-fainted, blue, with news very dramatical
A blunder aviational, appalling and traumatical
Spared matrimonial earful but I'm tearful: need-a-blotter news
So many cheerful tracks, oh but not fair, no longer want to use

With many cheerful tracks, oh but not fair, no longer want to use
With many cheerful tracks, oh but not fair, no longer want to use
Something has died, deep down inside, their memory cannot abuse

No merry mood, disintegrated, dry at river tumulus
We go vehicularly for lame healing alco-cure-olous
In short, it matters - veritable, both specific, general
He was the very model of a music icon ven'rable

In short, it matters - veritable, both specific, general
He was our Buddy Holly, was a music icon ven'rable

I know our rich rock history, King Michael's and Sir Mixalot's
From dance and hard-rock fix rendered by pretty face and punky snots
Words wrote sans elegance and all the rhymes and keys and tabulars
Of sonics and five/four and eccentricities so fabulous

I can tell undoubted steel rails from fenceposts and pop atrocities
I know the joking walrus and war dogs of high velocities
Then I catch strum and moog by which I've heard the music keen and soar
Then listen to the airs from that eternal essence seen before

Then listen to the airs from that eternal essence seen before
Then listen to the airs from that eternal essence seen before
Yet still it's raining in my heart, it doesn't matter any more

Let Satan smite the moshing pit and gross moronic goony dorm
And sell you every detail of Kardash-i-anous new abnorm
In short, in matters dreadable and cannibal and visceral
He is the dark Lord Gaga of a mass manipulatable

In short, he shatters hedge and gable, an' he mean and miserable
He is the very model of a malodorous Hannibal

In fact, now I know what it meant when decades were unravelin'
Now I can tell by sight of AK rifle with which travelin'
When from their lairs for sorties and 'surprises' soldiers dare react
And now I know precisely what is meant by pre-emptive attack
Now I have learnt what progress is made in the art of gunnery
In drones and rocket launchers that are deployed by the tonnery
In short when adult shattering of childhood pleasures batter me
I know a better age when Buddy rocked my night on Saturdee

I know a better age when Buddy rocked my night on Saturdee
I know a better age when Buddy rocked my night with Ollie G
Down there in Lubbock, Texas, where our Buddy met El Prez-erly

For musical pop knowledge, know I'm picky, unadventury
Great songs have been put down but like to go back half a century
And still he matters, memorable, adm'rable and singable
He was the very model of a music icon ven'rable

But still it matters, memorable, adm'rable and singable
He was the very model of a music icon ven'rable















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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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AFW - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
One of the hardest songs to do...I have no plans to tackle it, again...You've done a fine job
TJC - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Fantastic, LL! You & TT continue to raise the bar and throw down the gauntlet in one swell foop! You're both truly Masters of 'Mooshing and this one's done to *great effect*.
You deftly paid homage to the original with many creative neologisms and seamlessly inserted Victorian-esque turns of phrase all the while maintaining Poppinsishly PracticallyPerfectPacing©.
Your subject matter was obviously well researched, close to your heart—or both. I've only attempted this OS once and with *much* less aplomb.

Bravo!
John Barry - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
A tour de smoosh.
Timmy - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Well done on a very difficult pair of songs
Wendy Christopher - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Lifeliver, you've done it again! My breath is well and truly taken away. Pacing was spot on, masterful twisting of the language - and managed to incorporate both the sentiments of the OS AND a potted history of music as well. If I could gold-plate this 555 I would. I am once again in awe.
Callmelennie - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
You could probably count on the knuckles of one index finger the number of people who could pull off this and "Mistake Prone Samurai" in such a short period of time. You're one of the all time greats, LL
Meriadoc - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Your word-play is other-worldy! :D

Best stanza:

Let Satan smite the moshing pit and gross moronic goony dorm
And sell you every detail of Kardash-i-anous new abnorm
In short, in matters dreadable and cannibal and visceral
He is the dark Lord Gaga of a mass manipulatable

Best single word:

Saturdee
Lifeliver - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow! Such glowing comments I hardly know how to respond.

@ AFW - thanks. I found it a fun OS, actually, one of the rare occasions you can shamelessly pile 4-5-6-syllable words on top of each other without putting people off. But the reverse smoosh - that's the really daunting one.

@ TJC - appropriately verbose comment. Yes, Tommy Turtle certainly has been a bar-raiser for me, especially his frank comments on some of my earlier parodies. No true neologisms actually: alco-cure-o-lous (toyed with 'alcoholicus' but it sounded like latin taxonomy) and 'Kardashianous'. Both just basic poetic-licence suffix wordplay.
Thanks for noting my respect for McLean's original theme, which was my main intention. That's why the Satan verse, contrasting with a nostalgic feel for our youthful past with rose-colored glasses. Things were not really better then - we were just more naive and complacent. Not much research either, just a knowledge of the BH story and a few nods to pop trends of more recent times which are hard to avoid.

@ JB - thanks again. it was your outstanding work on this OS that helped inspire me

@ Timmy - thanks for the visit and comment.

@ Wendy - you'll have to start toning down your comments a bit - I'm starting to expect them (where's my Wendy-fix today?) lol

@ Calmelennie - wow (blush), steady on. I need a few more more feathers in the cap yet. But I'm enjoying sticking 'em in there, especially with ecouragement like that.
Lifeliver - December 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Hi Merry. Musta just missed you in my acknowls. How flattering of you to quite a whole stanza! Saturdee? Aren't you funny? It's actually standard Australian pron. (more like 'Sat'dee') and is actually the title of a classic short story by prominent artist and libertarian Norman Lindsay (1934).
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Am I the only one to have caught the Holly songs reffed, such as "It doesn't matter any more", "Raning In My Heart", "Ollie G", etc.?

Sorry to have missed this. Superb! Merry (not surprisingly) picked my fave verse also, esp. "Kardash-i-anous", surely the worst insult imaginable. ;) However, given the fact that the OS practically begs for word-mangling, a topic which became an M-G parody in itself, cheaply plugged at the end, I'd have gone the whole way and used "manipuliscible" for a better rhyme with "visceral". ("manipulisceral" too much? Maybe, maybe not...)

Definitely a 555+++, but to raise the bar even higher (heh!), Your Humble Servant varies all three lines of the triplet verses, and they do not repeat or include the final line of the preceding verse. Another reason this OS is such hard work, but worth the reward. Surprised at the low number of v/c, and especially, of page views for a song that should have the "legs" of a classic.

btw, you're one of maybe, um, one (? heh! probably one or two others) writers besides the pre-alien-abduction JAB who's sentt the turtle to the dictionary, for "tumulus". Love it.

There are a couple of teensy niTTs that would amount to using a microscope to find nose hairs on the Mona Lisa, so rather than besmirch this magnum opus, I can e-mail them as previously discussed, or just let 'em go. (e. g., who are "Gilbert 6 Sullivan"? ;) Regardless, outstanding on multiple counts.



Cheap plug of which forewarned:
"This Parody's A Neologist's Golden Opportunity""
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan118.shtml

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