INTRO:
Old Santa has been working out,
trying to get himself in shape.
& if you saw him in his private gym,
you'd see he's lost some weight.
He's not quite buff, but it's close enough
for what he has in mind.
Mrs. Claus has not an inkling
'bout the twinkling in his eye.

1: Now, for the last ten months or more,
Mrs. Claus has been a bore,
always nagging & complaining 'bout the cold.
The only day she'll give him peace
is the night of Christmas Eve.
& the Big Man knows just where he wants to go.

CHORUS A:
He knows that he'll be naughty
& maybe more than twice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.
He knows that he'll be bawdy
& not exactly nice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.

2: There's been a vixen on his list
who is hot for being kissed
by the man who gives the children all the toys.
Santa's had to bribe the elves
to deliver by themselves
just to give him time alone with "Christmas Joy".

CHORUS B:
He's feeling kind of frisky
& looking for some spice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.
He knows it could be risky,
but never asked advice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.

BRIDGE:
He finds her with a girlfriend
when he does the chimney thing.
But the two girls soon convince him he should stay.
& before too long, they've started
some intensive partying,
disturbing all the neighbors
with their laughter & their squeals,
raising such a ruckus in the night.
Reports come in: some fat man's
chasing two girls dressed in heels
& they don't put up all that much of a fight.

3: So if you see the big sleigh weave,
maybe dip this Christmas Eve,
just remember it's the elves behind the reins.
But as far's next Christmas goes,
well, now, no one really knows
if old Santa will be back to work by then.

CHORUS C:
He knows that he's been naughty,
too easily enticed.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.
He knows that he's been bawdy,
but now he likes the vice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.

4: & if you run into Ms. Claus,
please don't mention Santa's flaws.
She's got quite enough to keep her schedule filled.
She went surfing on the Net,
found a warmer climate yet
& ran off to find a boyfriend in Brazil.

CHORUS D:
She knows that she'll be naughty
& maybe more than twice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.
She knows that she'll be bawdy
& not exactly nice.
Santa's been a bad, bad boy.