I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I’ll get one from the panel of The View
Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinkertoy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
But then if the HOA says no can do
I’ll take my pick, Whoopi seems real thic
Just bring her through the front door
There’s some paper for the poo

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh, what joy and what surprise
See the fear that’s in her eyes
When she finds the fridge is nice and bare

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
What if I pick Joy 'q Behar from The View
No crocodiles, or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
A hippopotamuses from The View


Mom says the hippo would eat me up so when
She opens up that black hole of a mouth she’ll suck me in
There's lots of room for her
in our two car garage
I'd feed her there and wash her there
But stop at a massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh, what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see Ana Navarro standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
A pachydermata species from The View
No crocodiles, or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuses
Just hippopotamuses from The View