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Song Parodies -> "Sex and Mayonnaise"
Original Song Title:
"Love and Marriage"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"Sex and Mayonnaise"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
Inspired by CML!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Edible condiment can be used with foreplay
This I tell ya, Hellmann's, spread some on for some good lovin'!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Use it as lube and you're quite ok
Forget protection ladies, just insert some mayonnaise!!!
Try, try, try to spread some on, it's a fantasy not got wrong!
Try, try, try and create an illusion:
Get you freak and food on!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Great for all types of sex play
Tell by chance your lover
Use mayonnaise, forget the butter!
It's utter, utterly...
Spreadable and edible!
Do not shudder!
[Then the jar top unscrews]
Try, try, try to spread some on, it's a fantasy not got wrong!
Try, try, try and create an illusion:
Get your freak and food on!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Edible condiment can be used with foreplay
This I tell ya, Hellman's, spread some on for some good lovin'!
[George Takei]
OH MY!!!
Edible condiment can be used with foreplay
This I tell ya, Hellmann's, spread some on for some good lovin'!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Use it as lube and you're quite ok
Forget protection ladies, just insert some mayonnaise!!!
Try, try, try to spread some on, it's a fantasy not got wrong!
Try, try, try and create an illusion:
Get you freak and food on!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Great for all types of sex play
Tell by chance your lover
Use mayonnaise, forget the butter!
It's utter, utterly...
Spreadable and edible!
Do not shudder!
[Then the jar top unscrews]
Try, try, try to spread some on, it's a fantasy not got wrong!
Try, try, try and create an illusion:
Get your freak and food on!
Sex and mayonnaise, sex and mayonnaise
Edible condiment can be used with foreplay
This I tell ya, Hellman's, spread some on for some good lovin'!
[George Takei]
OH MY!!!
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User Comments
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I stand by my mayophobic statements to the bitter end, no matter how many smears and sexual innuendos you mayophiles attempt to spread!!
Still, your replies inspired me to write this! So, just curious, but... not even the old mayo + mustard + ketchup mix for hamburgers? No light mayo or mayo and olive oil? Keep it factual, it's for your file!
I'm being factual. Mayonaisse is one of the last food items I'd ever eat. I might tolerate a ltiny bit mayo if highly diluted by some other condiments with strong flavors. I dont know why. Perhaps the part of the brain that allows a large portion of humanity to delude itself into thinking mayo actually enhances a food item was, in my case, starved of oxygen when I was in the womb. Who knows?
Oh, and good parody, Rob. Fives all around
I hate Miracle Whip! Both mayo and MW started out as salad dressings (aka Salad Sauces)!
I really ought to be doing a parody of my feelings for mayonaisse, shouldn't I? So let me search for a titl- .. Oh, there's one! Took about three seconds to find one. maybe I'll get 'er done by tomorrow
Mayonnaise does not enhance a sexual experience. A deep jarful IS a sexual experience!
Not unless you slip some between two buns and shove some meat in there ;-)
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