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Song Parodies -> "The Gun That I Carry"
Original Song Title:
"The Girl That I Marry"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"The Gun That I Carry"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
NRA Executive VP Wayne Lapierre recently said that "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" and recommended a guard in every public school. Here is my portrait of one aspiring candidate for guarding public spaces, changing the words of the idealistic young single man in TOS.
The gun that I carry will have to be
Fired often, sans blinking, till error-free.
The gun I call my own
Will snare rats in grand places that spell "gun-free zone."
My skills will be polished to splinter hair,
Won't share lock-guard secrets with my au pair.
'Stead of sittin', I'll be hittin'
Chest of scurryin' cur, strikes a-quittin'.
In malls I can parry; the girls bad guys harry trust me.
Libs failed to abolish with spin and flair;
They'd pare an Amendment with wily scare.
States are splittin' while we're gittin'
Exec orders, interring lead spittin'.
If all rights can't carry, we'll curtailed Americans be.
With balls, guys shan't tarry with churls that Americans see.
Chinese proverb (undocumented):
"The gun wise man carry deter blast by daring dust flea."
Fired often, sans blinking, till error-free.
The gun I call my own
Will snare rats in grand places that spell "gun-free zone."
My skills will be polished to splinter hair,
Won't share lock-guard secrets with my au pair.
'Stead of sittin', I'll be hittin'
Chest of scurryin' cur, strikes a-quittin'.
In malls I can parry; the girls bad guys harry trust me.
Libs failed to abolish with spin and flair;
They'd pare an Amendment with wily scare.
States are splittin' while we're gittin'
Exec orders, interring lead spittin'.
If all rights can't carry, we'll curtailed Americans be.
With balls, guys shan't tarry with churls that Americans see.
Chinese proverb (undocumented):
"The gun wise man carry deter blast by daring dust flea."
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 3 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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BJM - Well said. What REALLY adds to this is that TOS comes from Annie Get Your Gun. ;D
@OMR: Thanks; that's not a coincidence. I might parody the title song later.
I half-agree with the gun-grabbers, believe it or not: all leftards deserve to be disarmed and completely defenseless when some nutjob goes off his meds and starts shooting. That's one of the many ways nature weeds out leftards.
@Malthusian: Would that group include 111 voters who don't comment?
BJM - No, you took the bullet today only because I didn't submit anything. ;D
555 from me; controversial but well written and nice pick on the OS
This is going to be a contentious issue for a long time to come. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. And the only thing that will take away the people's guns are other people with guns.
The gun is indeed a double edge sword - ( modern American proverb ) also undocumented
Thanks, all, and kudos to Patrick for the corollary about neutralizing guns.
Dave, wasn't that "He who lives by the sword dies by it" (with cold fingers)?
Dave, wasn't that "He who lives by the sword dies by it" (with cold fingers)?
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