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Song Parodies -> "Driveway"
Original Song Title:
"My Way"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"Driveway"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Oh, no, you bend my rear
Your first, your only driving lesson
I sit, shaking with fear
And close my eyes and tell you "press on"
You've bumped both back and front
Thank God the car does not move sideways
But more, here's what's amiss:
We're on the driveway
And pets - you had a few
There's fewer now, ain't it a pity?
I think I heard a "mew"
A mew or two - a puréed kitty
I'd planned a charted course:
I didn't think we'd hit the highway
There's not much left to miss
Here on your driveway
I know you cried, but through the tears
The grinding as you stripped the gears
Whatever was in front of you
You closed your eyes and drove on through
The garage door, it stands no more
Lies on the driveway
I've screamed, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my mind, I'm losing.
Your neighbours watch outside
And find it all, oh so amusing.
To think you wrecked all that
The debris strewn, it wasn't my day
No, but thankfully
It's not *my* driveway
For what is this? You've passed your test
And now you drive with manic zest
So now I'll run, take to my heels
At the approaching screech of wheels
A maddened dash, before the crash
Upon your
Dri-i-i-ve-
Way
Your first, your only driving lesson
I sit, shaking with fear
And close my eyes and tell you "press on"
You've bumped both back and front
Thank God the car does not move sideways
But more, here's what's amiss:
We're on the driveway
And pets - you had a few
There's fewer now, ain't it a pity?
I think I heard a "mew"
A mew or two - a puréed kitty
I'd planned a charted course:
I didn't think we'd hit the highway
There's not much left to miss
Here on your driveway
I know you cried, but through the tears
The grinding as you stripped the gears
Whatever was in front of you
You closed your eyes and drove on through
The garage door, it stands no more
Lies on the driveway
I've screamed, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my mind, I'm losing.
Your neighbours watch outside
And find it all, oh so amusing.
To think you wrecked all that
The debris strewn, it wasn't my day
No, but thankfully
It's not *my* driveway
For what is this? You've passed your test
And now you drive with manic zest
So now I'll run, take to my heels
At the approaching screech of wheels
A maddened dash, before the crash
Upon your
Dri-i-i-ve-
Way
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 32 | 33 | 32 |
User Comments
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My daughter gets her license in two months, so this really struck home. Excellent work!
This one drives in the funny lane..."Pureed kitty" line..priceless..funny fives
I was a little leery at the first verse, but soon saw it's just an innocent piece about learning to drive......I guess by Friday a person's mind is warped.
The verse about pets...LOL
Cool. Gives a whole new meaning to the expression 'You drive me crazy.'
loads of wonderful mental images..thanks for the laughs...5s
There's a "can't drive 555" joke here someway, but I can't do more than jumpstart it...
From the parodied words of Billy Joel, "Who Made You Drive?!"
loved "Thank God the car does not move sideways" - 555
Phil, I can relate. I've taught 3 daughters to drive. Like Stu, I liked the sideways line best. Pureed kitty set me off too though. 555
:-) Thanks, everybody. I thought it was kind of fun, too.. OK, a question for you: in your mind's eye as you read this one, what sex do you see the driver as being?
wow and to think I almost missed this jewwl? 555
Your writing talent remains in overdrive.
Baby, you CAN'T drive my car ! Phil, I enjoyed it, gender seemed androgynous (sp?)
Just straight up comedic genius, Phil...loved it! 555
(SOTM Wild Card 05) Great stuff as usual, Phil. As for me, I know it perpetuates awful stereotypes about my gender, but I did picture a girl driving, if for no reason other than no guy I know would get that choked up about running over his cat.
Very clever, especially the pet verse. I can see that you did have a difficult choice in November between this and Actor's Dilemma. And, having given driving lessons to a son and two daughters (all of whom were good drivers), I think I agree with Cat that a gear grinder might more likely be a daughter.
(SOTM Wild Card 05) Funny parody.
No rust on this parody - How about remaining paint on the car?
(SOTM-Wild) This will probably be my 5pt or 4pt vote. Excellent premise and buildup to an exciting conclusion! (I note that the song makes no reference to a he or she). :D
(WILDCARD) Ha! Brilliant concept and execution. Snortling all the way through. 555
(WILDCARD) That's two driving parodies in the Wildcard 2005. As they say: The more the merrier. Nice work, Phil.
(WILD) brilliant stuff Phil (and see above)
(WILD) I would say see above but apparently I didn't comment the first time reading this. Great work on this Phil and I'm inclined to think the driver is female because most women I know don't drive stick shift (or at least not comfortably).
Wow, Philbo, I was a little stunned to see you in the wild card round - I coulda sworn you won some contests. So I went back and did a little checking: you finished in the top four FOUR times; in two of those you were nudged into fourth place by a tiebreaker. (In case you weren't counting.) Go figure.
Anyhoo, clearly this original song brings out the best in the best parodists (cf. Claude's "Three Way"). This is perfection: tight, with effortless rhymes, and punchlines in every stanza. Grrrrreat stuff.
Anyhoo, clearly this original song brings out the best in the best parodists (cf. Claude's "Three Way"). This is perfection: tight, with effortless rhymes, and punchlines in every stanza. Grrrrreat stuff.
WILD- I can relate this back to when I first starting driving lessons when i was 16. Only I never should have left the driveway. Anyways, very well done and amusing.
(WILD) Really hilarious!
(WILDCARD) A parody that begs the musical question, "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
(Wild Card) That's some really bad driving, but really bad driving makes good ammo for spoofing.
Wildcard...TWO songs in this contest about bad drivers...nice. My dad was what the world likes to call "smart." I never had control of the wheel within city limits until I'd mastered the sport. Instead, he took me out to the countryside to teach me how to drive...and the countryside never quite looked the same.
Great job, Phil...I honestly loved it!
Great job, Phil...I honestly loved it!
This is not brilliant, but really quite good. It's not predictable at all, although it's written within a pretty limited scope. There's only so much freelancing you can do with a driving lesson. In addition, as with all good parodies, it savages the original. So the smug Sinatra version gets travestied by being applied to the mundane world or learning to drive
(2005 SOTY) See above, and congrats on a well-deserved medal for this one.
(SOTY 06) I was happy to discover this in the Wild Card, and I guess I helped bring it here. You'll be on the high end of my votes.
I know I voted on this before but I guess I never commented. Excellent as always, Phil. And I pictured a boy driving, probably because my wife is a better driver than I am (just ask her).
Still love it, Philbo. Standout lines this time: the first "driveway" punchline, the "sideways" line, and "there's not much left to miss."
SOTY: I have seen my future, at least it's 15 years away =)
First Place
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,16916.0.html
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,16916.0.html
That was funny and very very fun! I loved it all, but the part that said, "It's not *my* driveway" - was my fav part, I did not see it coming - great job, "That's Entertainment"!
As a musician,I've accompanied countless singers through the original and personally felt nothing but a sense of boredom and gloom. How an audience would love this as a closing number at the end of the evening! They would go home with a smile on their faces. Have you tried this on a cabaret audience, Phil and what was the reaction?
Thanks, Jack :-) There's quite a few excellent parodies to this song on this site that I'm sure would go down very well sung live - but I'm afraid I've not tried this, yet. I'm doing the occasional open mike night, so I guess I really ought to give it a try. I'll let you know how it goes...
Was going through your repertoire again Phil, and as someone learning to drive, I wish I'd written this. Nicely done as usual my friend.
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