I'm Tolkien, I wrote the "Rings"
I'm pissed "bout a couple things
my accommodations down here stink

Those Hobbits; turns out they're mean
They're lazy; won't serve me tea
Stuck with them for all eternity

Now I'm gettin' ragged in a parody
Being treated most disrespectfully
Crack-head elves; I think they are dissin' me
Wise-ass writer; "Rings", did not even read

Annoying; that uncouth lout
Does not know what I'm about
His ignorance of my work he flouts

(During the instrumental break the parody writer is telling bad "Rings" jokes in the background and the hobbits are guffawing where the saxophone solo parts go)

I'm loved so by all my fans
But this clown; he kicks my can
A brut; he writes with a heavy hand

A moron; of little wit
I tire of his bullsh*t
I do not enjoy this; not one bit

Now I'm stuck down here in the Middle Earth
Respect down here for me; seems there is a dearth
Tell this author I think that he's a jerk
Bet he thinks that elves look a lot like smurfs

I'm Tolkien; wrote "Trilogy"
Upset now; I'm really peeved
"Cause I'm dead I get no royalites