Dwayne Wade (spoken):
Oh,it's no use,I can't lose with Shaq. And you know what? You know the Heat's still in Miami. We're still here. See,we really have Shaq everyday,still a good player,"the diesel". You know,it might make me feel better if I could tell you about it,I hope you don't mind listening?

(singing):
When Shaq's not here,the hours last forever
Was Alonzo Mourning really alone
When Shaq's not here,I don't feel so clever
Christian Laettner shouldn't act like Eddie Jones

When Shaq's not here,the Heat are getting worse
The point guards and shooting guards can be wild
When Shaq's not here,they're second from first
They say the Detroit Pistons are vile

There are peculiar things about him
Way back into his Orlando Magic days
In a time where Lakers had recieved him
He's still really a tough guy anyway

When Shaq's not here,so Stan Van Gundy
Will get upset,and throw a fit
When Shaq's not here,Laettner wasn't funny
When he wonders if Alonzo's getting hit
When Shaq's not here,but you don't ask for it

(spoken):
You know,I do feel better now. I guess sometimes it does help to tell somebody how you feel. So thanks for listening. I bet Shaq was better still. Count him in.