Song Parodies -> "Love My Blender"

Original Song Title:

"Love Me Tender"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Love My Blender"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Although Joe Melchionne has written another of the same name, I'm sure you'll agree that they're rather different...

Love my blender
Love my stove
Love my chopping board
Darling, if you'll be my love
This is your reward

Love my blender
Love my spoon
Love my carving knife
My kitchen will belong to you
Once you are my wife

Love my blender
Love my scales
Take my kitchen sink
For it's there that you belong,
'cept when you bring my drink

Love my blender
Love my whisk
And my rolling pin
Please don't use the last of those
To bash my head right in

(when this last of things you do
Darling, know this well:
The police will come for you
And throw you in a cell).

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Barry J. Mitchel - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

Stanza 3 sounds like Archie & Edith in "All in the Family" or Onslow & Violet in "Keeping Up Appearances" so I'd add this stanza:
Love my blender
Love my grille
Love my microwave
Darling, yield unto my will
And become my slave
You must be a Republican who wants to keep her barefoot & pregnant. ;^)

Rob Arndt - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

Nice parody-555! Reminds me of my chef's kitchen that goes unused since I became disabled. A shame b/c I used to love to cook big 5-7 course meals for everyone. But now it's all microwave foods, sandwiches, soups, and soft stuff I can digest more easily. I can't even make my homemade soups anymore b/c too costly in this crappy economy and I am sick all day long everyday. I love all my kitchen appliances and cookery ware... but they are gathering dust now, except for occasional skillet or grille use :(

WarrenB - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

I must say this was quite stirring. And you can take that from a Baker.

Matthias - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

What are you doing writing song parodies for?! Get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Oh, You're a guy... Alright then grab a beer and let's play some poker.

Porfle Popnecker - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

Judging from the bored look Elvis got whenever he had to slog through the OS for the umpteenth time, he'd probably have enjoyed singing these lyrics for a change.

Dave W. - April 04, 2012 - Report this comment

Ahh yes, a well blended parody of love...so romantic

Phil Alexander - April 05, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks all :-)

..and to highlight the chasm between my parody writing and real life, I haven't tried playing this with my wife in the room :-)

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