Grandma got blown over, she's in pain, dear!
Walking out on Independence Eve
You can say that fireworks function safely
But as for me? I'd have to disagree.

We'd been drinking, eating hot dogs
And the night sky was aglow
So I took out Daddy's rockets
And I stumbled out the door to start the show

Mommy said I shouldn't light it
It was toppled on its side
Guess I figured Gram would see it
But she didn't...'till it shot into her eye

Grandma got blown over, she's in pain, dear!
Hit by someone's fireworks in the road
Pepto-Bismol's better than Mylanta
And faces sure look cool when they explode!

When it happened, it was crazy
Her bifocals bust in two
See her face start shooting sparklers
And her white hair matched the flaming red and blue

Grandpa says he doesn't blame me
He's relieved for Gram instead
Though he tells me, quite discreetly
"Next time, aim it for her neck and not her head"

Grandma got blown over - how insane, dear!
She'll sure have some fun on Halloween
Knocking on her door, we'll ask for candy
'Cause she don't need a mask to look obscene!

Soon it became a tradition
Ev'ry Independence Day
To shoot shells and bombs and rockets
Straight, directly into poor Grandmother's way

Now our Gram is up in heaven
Sitting on the highest shelf
Grandma, lest we all forget you
In rememb'rance, we'll shoot fireworks at ourselves!

Grandma got blown over, lost her brain, dear
Walked into a rocket in her path
You can pray and moan and scream and tanty
But as for me and Grandpa...we'll just laugh.