Spankem Nood loved Chinese food
So he fought in Korea
He scorned the front lines for the woods
To wrestle diarrhea

Spanky Noodle shook the hand
Of Chairman Mao Ze Donkey
"I'd like your autograph," he said
"You're short and tall at once, hee!"

In '66 'ol Spank Nood broke
The lines of draft card dodgers
They found him in Nam's paddy fields
'Shroomed into Daltry, Roger

Spank snuck to the Viet Cong
While his troops were nappin'
He couldn't resist the pungent smell
Of 'Nam styled noodles ramen

Spanky Noodle, lap it up
While the stew is brewin'
No one knows just what the hell
The left or right hand's doin'

'Nood awoke in '89
To a thousand points of nightlights
He begged his mom to turn 'em off
And keep him out of hindsight

They shipped 'ol Spank off to Iraq
To fight mean Hussein, Saddam
Instead he got a desert rash
That made Gomorrah Sodom

9/11 of 2001
Came and shattered Spank's nerves
Dubya said, "That's 'coz you didn't
Scare Hussein with fightin' words."

(Don't hurt my daddy!)

Seven years and to this day
Spank's rolled in Persian carpet
We killed Saddam and his two sons
But the world wants U.S. departed

Spank told Barack, and he swore
That this would be no Vietnam
Spank then beheaded Dumboya
And cut him into smart bombs

And I am that Spanky Noodle joy!!