Spankem Nood ditched Washington's troops
And moved back home with mother
She stuck a feather in his ass
And called it a thermometer

Spanky stayed with Betsy Ross
Safely weaving gladly
He tossed his needles when he jabbed
His pinky knitting Glory

Later Spanky fought the South
But wandered way out west, so
He got limp wristed, skipped about
Then soon discovered Frisco

Spanky Noodle sashayed north
And met poor General Custer
Custer yelled, "I'm Indian food!
Said Spank, "My dog needs mustard."

Spanky Noodle, go get tough
Crank your Noodle daily
Spanky Noodle's gettin' rough
He's knockin' back some brandys

World War 1 mussed Spanky's hands
When a schoolboy shot some Franz bitch
Serbia snored at Austria's roar
And burnt Hungary's sandwich

Spanky's helmet had a spike
So he could kill the Kaiser
When Spanky saw a girl he liked
He wore it in his trousers

Flash to 1939
When Hitler stomped on Poland
Spanky cried, "Enough's enough!
Go clog around on Holland."

Spanky joined the Western Front
But hid out in a bunker
Hitler said, "I like your style.
Let's mosh or we'll go bonkers."

Spanky Noodle, loosen up
Yank your Poodle daily
World War 2 fell on its butt
Let's play ball in the bush leagues

And I am that Spanky Noodle boy!!