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Song Parodies -> "Matrimonay!"
Original Song Title:
"That's Amore"
Original Performer:
Dean Martin
Parody Song Title:
"Matrimonay!"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
It's a nice day for a white...ah, forget it....
[WEDDING PLANNER]
The wedding march
Begins to play
You're feeling sick
You're gonna spray
[DINO]
When you're due to be wed, you may be filled with dread
Matrimonay!
You proposed after sex, now she actually expects
Matrimonay!
She makes plans: honeymoon in France, no more one night stands
So one ev'ning you tell 'er
"This is mad! Look at Jen and Brad, and your mom and dad
Liz Burton's many fellers"
She replies with a smirk, "I'm expecting, you jerk!"
You shout, "NO WAY!"
And her catholic folks know some sizable blokes
With crowbars
Your expression is glum, coz you'd rather bull-run
In Pamplonay
Chapel's booked, goose is cooked; like a flounder, you're hooked
Matrimonay!
[PRIESTS]
Wedding dress trimmed with lace is as white as your face
Matrimonay!
[DINO]
Nein! Non! No! Nay!
[GROOMSMEN]
And the bridesmaids she chose: either obese or ho's
Oh, if onl-ay
[DINO]
Yeah, if onl-ay
You had checked, condom was intact, promise you'd retract
Coz you're weak-willed and yeller
[PHOTOGRAPHER]
Really yeller! Yeller feller!
[DINO]
Sure, she'd cry: but you wouldn't dierunning from some guy
Who is built like Godzilla
[BIG GUY]
I'm Godzilla!
[FATHER OF THE BRIDE]
It's her fairytale day, but it's you who must pay
[DINO]
Get a loan, eh?
[BRIDE]
Get a loan! Yay!
[DINO]
The bank manager said your cre-dit's in the red
[BANK MANAGER]
Real tough luck
[DINO]
So a loan from her pop (who's a wiseguy) will stop
Broken bones, say
[WISEGUYS]
From Fat Ton-ay!
[DINO]
See the schmuck in a tux who has run out of luck;
Matrimonay!
[ALL]
Onlythree weeks have passed since your first date; too fast!
[DINO]
Matrimonay??
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!
[BEST MAN]
Seems the priest's had a few, but he ain't drunk as you
Not by half
[DINO]
When she walks down the aisle, hold that rictus-like smile
It's balonay
[BRIDESMAIDS]
Ooooohhhhh..
[DINO]
Yes indeed, guaranteed, in a year she will plead
Alimonay!
[BRIDE]
Your mo-nay!
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!!
The wedding march
Begins to play
You're feeling sick
You're gonna spray
[DINO]
When you're due to be wed, you may be filled with dread
Matrimonay!
You proposed after sex, now she actually expects
Matrimonay!
She makes plans: honeymoon in France, no more one night stands
So one ev'ning you tell 'er
"This is mad! Look at Jen and Brad, and your mom and dad
Liz Burton's many fellers"
She replies with a smirk, "I'm expecting, you jerk!"
You shout, "NO WAY!"
And her catholic folks know some sizable blokes
With crowbars
Your expression is glum, coz you'd rather bull-run
In Pamplonay
Chapel's booked, goose is cooked; like a flounder, you're hooked
Matrimonay!
[PRIESTS]
Wedding dress trimmed with lace is as white as your face
Matrimonay!
[DINO]
Nein! Non! No! Nay!
[GROOMSMEN]
And the bridesmaids she chose: either obese or ho's
Oh, if onl-ay
[DINO]
Yeah, if onl-ay
You had checked, condom was intact, promise you'd retract
Coz you're weak-willed and yeller
[PHOTOGRAPHER]
Really yeller! Yeller feller!
[DINO]
Sure, she'd cry: but you wouldn't dierunning from some guy
Who is built like Godzilla
[BIG GUY]
I'm Godzilla!
[FATHER OF THE BRIDE]
It's her fairytale day, but it's you who must pay
[DINO]
Get a loan, eh?
[BRIDE]
Get a loan! Yay!
[DINO]
The bank manager said your cre-dit's in the red
[BANK MANAGER]
Real tough luck
[DINO]
So a loan from her pop (who's a wiseguy) will stop
Broken bones, say
[WISEGUYS]
From Fat Ton-ay!
[DINO]
See the schmuck in a tux who has run out of luck;
Matrimonay!
[ALL]
Onlythree weeks have passed since your first date; too fast!
[DINO]
Matrimonay??
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!
[BEST MAN]
Seems the priest's had a few, but he ain't drunk as you
Not by half
[DINO]
When she walks down the aisle, hold that rictus-like smile
It's balonay
[BRIDESMAIDS]
Ooooohhhhh..
[DINO]
Yes indeed, guaranteed, in a year she will plead
Alimonay!
[BRIDE]
Your mo-nay!
[ALL]
Matrimonay!!!!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 23 | 23 | 23 |
User Comments
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Fantastic and hilarious You've written a whole operetta, here...
With Frankie as the Best Man, Sammy as the Preacher, and Paul Lynde as the Wedding Planner. 555
Wedding dress...$3,000.00, caterer...$8,000.00, this parody...Priceless! Bravo! 555
that's a-FUNNY...5s
Thanks a bunch AFW ,Agri and Al (All the As??) and Rick (now known as Arick) ;-)
It's fives, you bet your "A'.
Hilarious and great pacing. 555
the thing is, there's never a weak line or an opportunity missed with your stuff, Kristof - Kristofesque in all its gloray (end of storay) - 555
Simply brilliant, Kristof. Snortle for the 'Nein! Non! No! Nay' line, not to mention every other line. 555
outstanding! 5 stars
A big thanx to PMS, Antman, Stu-boy, Li'l Luke, and cool carol!!!
Hilarious stuff, Kristoff - and btw, check your PMs on the messageboard.
Thanks, Phil...and also a belated thanks to Spaff, whose wonderful "That's Annoying" inspired the structure, with the backing singers and additional parts.
(SOTM) dktos cept for few lines, fuinny though, 5s
SOTM...LOL! Lots and lots of funny stuff in here, KR...pretty hard to single anything out...but "get a loan, eh?" made me giggle quite a bit...maybe because anyone who actually gets me to commit is probably going to have to take out two or three. Or six...; )
(SOTM) see above
(SOTM) Hilarious! Lots of funny lines. 5's
SOTM October - And October's the month for Hallowen - Hence a parody about matrimony fits like a ring.
(SOTM) Ah, matrimony! See this ring? I put it on 26 years ago. Since then, I've gained so much weight I can't get it past the first knuckle. I'll be buried with this thing on. But, I guess that's OK. It's there to remind me of the woman I married. And it does.....because I can't get her off either!
SOTM - I can actually imagine this song happening in real life. Scary thought! Great job on this one.
(SOTM) See above, and stretching/re-pronouncing "Matrimonay" and its accompanying rhymes was also hilarious. TMGLTM.
(SOTM) wow, I forgot how good this was - anyway, what I said before with the ubiquitous TMGLTM thrown in (as always with your stuff) - honestly, this is just a laughfest from start to finish (and Fat To-nay cracked me up)
(SOTM) "rictus-like smile" ... nice GOTH touch! ;-)
SOTM - You get a thrill, she gets a chill, you pay the bills, it's been working so well, why change anything? ;-)
Wow! Fantastic! I'm Godzilla!
Thanks for the shout-out. But enough about me; let's talk about you. This is fantastic. Expertly crafted, from the dead-on humor to the internal rhymes to the rotating cast of characters. And I third the TMGLTM. I was going to call this one of your best, but with you such praise is meaningless; virtually every one of your parodies is one of your best.
(SOTM) This is a comedy jem. 3 5's.
SOTM What Spaff said. Saying this is one of your best somehow belittles others of yours, which is impossible to do. I used to like my parody of this OS, until I read this one. Thanks a lot, you bastard! Another parody that 5's don't do justice...all 10's
Very well written, and despite all the lines that showed morre writing/rhyming talent, for some reason my favority lite was "I'm godzilla" and that reason is not because Claude seems to think so too
Oh your wedding day dont be getting no cold feet at the last minute and run away the brides father will hunt you down with a shot gun and blood hounds
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