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Song Parodies -> "Point out the Planets"
Original Song Title:
"Brush Up Your Shakespeare"
Original Performer:
Cole Porter (Kiss Me Kate)
Parody Song Title:
"Point out the Planets"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
The girls today in society
Overdose on astrology
So to win their hearts one must know with ease
Sagitarius and Pis-keys
You must know Libra, and Scorpio
Aquarius, also Virgo-ho
And unless you know Taurus, Aries, Leo
Girls'll hate yer and won't want to know
But to keep 'em all in thrall
'Cause you know that they'll have missed 'em
Are the heav'nly bodies all
Around our own solar system
Point out the planets
Start learning 'em now
Point out the planets
And the women you will wow.
If you know Jupiter's moon "Himalia"
They will think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond and stop fightin'
Ask her if her Janus is a Titan
If she won't show you her Megaclite
Guess that means she is a Praxidike, oh, oh, oh
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow.
Point out the planets
Get yer telescope out
Point out the planets
If you don't want to go without
Mention Juliet, Puck and Cordelia
And she's sure to let you Ophelia
If you drive her around in your Portia
You'll see her Titania for sure-shia
If she says your behaviour is heinous
Tell her that they all orbit Uranus, oh, oh, oh
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow,
And they'll all kowtow,
And they'll all kowtow.
Point out the planets
Start star-watching now
Point out the planets
And the women you will wow.
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow
Overdose on astrology
So to win their hearts one must know with ease
Sagitarius and Pis-keys
You must know Libra, and Scorpio
Aquarius, also Virgo-ho
And unless you know Taurus, Aries, Leo
Girls'll hate yer and won't want to know
But to keep 'em all in thrall
'Cause you know that they'll have missed 'em
Are the heav'nly bodies all
Around our own solar system
Point out the planets
Start learning 'em now
Point out the planets
And the women you will wow.
If you know Jupiter's moon "Himalia"
They will think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond and stop fightin'
Ask her if her Janus is a Titan
If she won't show you her Megaclite
Guess that means she is a Praxidike, oh, oh, oh
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow.
Point out the planets
Get yer telescope out
Point out the planets
If you don't want to go without
Mention Juliet, Puck and Cordelia
And she's sure to let you Ophelia
If you drive her around in your Portia
You'll see her Titania for sure-shia
If she says your behaviour is heinous
Tell her that they all orbit Uranus, oh, oh, oh
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow,
And they'll all kowtow,
And they'll all kowtow.
Point out the planets
Start star-watching now
Point out the planets
And the women you will wow.
Point out the planets
And they'll all kowtow
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Heh heh heh you said "Uranus". 5's
Kudos to you for writing a Cole Porter parody with all the cleverness of Cole Porter.
Stellar!
Hmm.. thought I'd replied to these already - my brain must be going. Thanks all... but Olvan, I don't think this is quite as clever as the original (which is awesomely funny)... I originally had a parody to this one mapped out as "Prick out yer pansies", but my horticultural knowledge isn't extensive enough to keep the double entendres rolling.
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