I'm a fine upstanding gent
With one moral slightly bent
That slight weakness is a sneaky sexual flair
If you hear a female shrieking in a church revival tent
'Cause a hand is groping under, I'll be there..

When a hand. (Oh, when a hand)
Is groping under,
An evan-.(said, an evan-)
gelistic wonder,
Well, you can bet, (Yes, you can bet)
That I just bunned her,,
When a hand is groping under,
I'll be there..(yes, I'll be there)

Prefer prim and proper ladies
With that twinkle in their eyes
Those who'll pass around the old collection cup
Hope the good Lord will forgive me
But, I gotta' touch her thighs,
Can't control these sinful fingers, they'll head up

When a hand. (a hairy hand))
Is groping under,
An evan-.(said, an evan-)
gelistic wonder,
Well, you can bet, (Yes, you can bet)
That I just bunned her,,
When a hand is groping under,
I'll be there..(yes, I'll be there)

Been attending church each Sunday with a smooth new manicure
Like to keep the digits workable and soft
I'm a conservative christian who's a tiny bit impure
When you hear a female giggle, or a cough..

Then a hand, (my subtle hand)
Is groping under,
Some evan-, (said, some evan-)
gelistic wonder..
You can be sure, (salvation sure)
That I just bunned her..
When a hand is groping under,
I'll be there, (I will be there)

Love those long skirts
And I'll be there...