Verse 1: Deep down in Louisiana
Outside New Orleans
Right down an old dirt road
I tried to sell antiques
There stood an tiny store
Made of weathered wood
On top a big ol’ sign said “Johnny’s Used Goods”
I’ve never ever really sold a single thing
So I would sit on the porch
And I would begin to sing

Chorus: Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell, sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell, sell!
Johnny’s Used Goods

Verse 2: I got some record low prices on some gummy slacks
Really low priced shirts complete with tire tracks
Oh, no travelers drive by cuz Highway 63
People go around me, cuz they do not see
Thinkin’ on it now, I do have to say
Not smart to build a store off of the highway

Chorus: Oh, well!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell! Sell!
Johnny’s Used Goods

[Instrumental Break]
[Johnny tries all kinds of crazy advertising tactics]

Verse 3: My mother told me, “Sonny you have messed up bad!”
“And you will close the store with much less than you had!”
Zero people coming from anywhere
Not even for my sweater made of human hair
A power outage caused stores to be closed
But wait Johnny’s Used Goods ain’t closed

Chorus: Sell! Sell!
Sell Johnny! Sell!
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Johnny! Sell!
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Johnny! Sell!
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Johnny! Sell!
Sell! Johnny’s Used Goods!