navy beans...why must i go toot ?
oh, navy beans...why must i go toot ?
i done started back oozin' the stink of gooey poo

as i was masticatin' my daily fill
i'd had navy beans as an extra frill
my tummy was rollin' like it might explode
a case of the runs, i can't afford
that damn stuff eatin' my guts alive
they're lumpin' and bumpin', fried inside

navy beans...why must i go toot ?
oh, navy beans...why must i go toot ?
i done started back oozin' the stink of gooey poo

i nearly blowed up, dreadin' what's in store
my guts were shot...i couldn't take no more
my mind got cloudy from the smarts of the strain
i tooted, forlorn, until i cramped in pain
my drain's gonna blow out...you'd think that it would
i knew it was chewin' my colon, good

navy beans...why must i go toot ?
oh, navy beans...why must i go toot ?
i done started back oozin' the stink of gooey poo

i finally calmed down...the pain went down
and that's when i heard a violent sound
the navy beans sittin' like a ton of lead
the room labeled "men's" was a mile ahead
i settled back, hopin' i could keep 'em still
but i plopped navy beans...now, i'm gonna be ill

navy beans...why must i go toot ?
oh, navy beans...why must i go toot ?
i done started back oozin' the stink of gooey poo