Oh-oh-oh, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
This ain't some frat-com, you twit, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ayy, you're a, you're a prat, you're a prat, you're a prat (oh, yeah-eah)

Wake up, check the damn decade
You'll find that the date is not the 80's, mate
Wouldn't be shocked if you had somehow escaped
From a time warp 'cause you are outdated, mate, stupid and rotten
Hit the new kid 'cause you're lookin' for a fight
Some bizarre tradition that I'm pretty sure died, you stain
If this was done all the time
Then how come it's only you waitin' in the line? Oh-oh, buddy

Nothin' that you do's worth praisin'
Ain't nobody loves it, don't haze me
Here to work, you see
I don't really have the time to chase a flock of geese, man, you're douchey (oh-oh)
You might think that you're amazin' (yeah, yeah)
Ain't nobody wants it, don't haze me (yeah)
This ain't a movie (yeah)
Don't need the long runnin' time (yeah) to turn the tables, leave, man, you're douchey

Newbie and a geek, wanna haze me (yeah)
That's a "you"-type problem, seems your brain's stuck (ayy)
In an old filin' system, change up (change up)
Can't conceal once it's revealed (yeah)
That you've spilled beer all over my till (yeah)
And on my drawers, keeps you laughin' still (yeah)
Doesn't faze me, yeah, it's no big deal (ee-yeah) (oh-oh)
What will kill (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Me is when your ass gets fired (oh-oh-oh-oh) (fired)
Because all your "jokes" will not slide (oh-oh-oh)
The HR department doesn't like (oh)
People like you, they like (oh) non-shit-stirrer types, yeah

Think like a dick, prob'bly with it, am I right?
Based on how you diss me, don't think you can deny, you stain
Waitin' for the highest five
But nobody else here likes what you pull, that's right, oh-oh, buddy
May think that you're due some praisin'
Ain't nobody wants to, don't haze me (ah-ah-ah-ah, all those dumb movies)
Even those movies
That you seem to love have my role as the awkward lead, man, you're douchey

Yeah, I won't quit
Know that I won't fall for any of your tricks, obvious
That you mean to push me in a ditch
You clown, thought you'd know to hide your smirk a bit, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Poker face, twit
Fake bein' real friendly so I'll break the rules, then switch
Act shocked and aghast that I crashed the work van
Then hold in the laugh 'til I ask "Why?", you're sad (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ayy, you're a, you're a prat, you're a prat, you're a prat, yeah
You done this before? Got a bit of doubt, doubt
Just a little doubt, doubt, a little doubt, doubt
Fine, a lot of doubt, doubt (you're a prat, you're a prat, you're a prat), lot of doubt, doubt

Big friggin' dick, got that figured out on sight
Sunglasses and greasy hair, all un-dress-code-like, you stain
Do you think you're really tight
With the manager? Well, I'm not sure that that's right, man, you're douchey

Darted roster where your name is
That's more than a warnin', don't haze me
No, it isn't Steve
Behind that till, rollin' eyes, it's the big boss who seethes, man, you're douchey (whoa-oh)
At my interview he stated
Well before my shouts of "Don't haze me"
He loves darts, you see
Your work has to be sublime to not be on the street, man, you're douchey