Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Mr. Postman, keep all your mail
Now that the internet's under sail
The need for you has really diminished
I'm telling you that your useful days are finished
Postman, cellular phones
Are way much cheaper, everyone owns
Don't need all that paper crap
Mr. Postman, go take a nap

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Mr. Postman, we pay online
So keep those bills, we are all doing just fine
Take all those ads that only just bore us
And save me another tree in the forest
Postman, you'll soon be out
That UPS can cover your route
Don't bother to stay awake
Mr. Postman, take a long break

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Mr. Postman, (male voice, "Huh?") don't come around
Come to my door, and we just might let out the hound
Don't look at me with that vacant stare, man
You're as useful as the Maytag repairman
Mr. Postman, spindle and fold, (spindle and fold)
No more a-sloshing in sleet and the cold
So please keep all that junky mail
Mr. Postman, keep it, please, please, please
Mr. Postman, goes in the pail

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring