Don't try to pool
Ev'rybody's meals 'cause nothin' breeds more problems, true
Won't be fine or cool
When the whole spread on the table stacks up to the roof
And nobody wants to touch a single part, guess you've got lunch
Set for you for the next few months, I hope you're hungry

You should set the limits pretty hard
Organise who's got what and what's still missin'
What's gonna survive in who's old car
Missed the point? That's true, the point of my mission
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
Is always on my nerves, I don't want that feelin'
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
Simplicity ain't worth all the waste, I'm feelin'

Random plates ain't fair
When you've got people with allergies all comin' there
Awkward sight, all will stare
If your diabetic grandma can't eat anything but pears
And your one solution sucks since "more food" will just add up
To the dishes you must wash, I beg, be lazy

Please don't roll the dice for "zero farce"
Something's gonna botch and you'll look a dipshit
Maybe won't end up feathered and tarred
But you'll get excluded, that I'm not wishin'
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
A chance that it'll work, know that's what you're feelin'
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
Just save the frayin' nerves, it's an awful feelin'

Ah-ah, wha-hey-ee-yeah-eah (whoa)
No-one wants embarrassment after plannin' a good time
'Cause the plate mess is sad when no-one's takin' a bite
Quality beats quantity, well, at least I think so
Too many plates to taste, so they're left alone
A pretty sad display when they're left alone
You're part of that display 'cause you're left alone

You can do the whole "all plays their part"
Without fifteen casseroles no-one's eatin' (at least half are gross)
One for the main course, one runs the bar
One makes choc'late goo or some other sweetness
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
This method doesn't work from the ones I'm seein'
Potluck pain (damn potluck), damn potluck pain (damn potluck)
All that it brings is hurt, not what I like seein'
I'm sure some others work, bring that wholesome feelin'
The ones you do don't work, brings an awkward feelin'
They really need some work for that wholesome feelin'