Oh the right wing and the left wing can't be friends.
They are constantly pursuing diff'rent ends.
One says "Get our finance straight".
The other wants a welfare state.
But who is right or wrong? Well, that depends.

Or-din-ar-y folks are in a quand'ry.
Who's the better side in this debate?
T.V. airs the right's dirty laundry.
Prez and left wing promote class hate.

Consider all the left wing Occupiers,
The group that Dems and cable news are praising.
They call those who oppose them filthy liars.
The one thing that they're good at is hell-raising.
They've turned the streets into a public Port-O-Let.
Give all wealth to the people's what they're saying.
Free college, homes, high pay they are demanding, you can bet -
But only if somebody else is paying!

Yes, the right wing and the left wing can't be friends.
There's no compromise as either side pretends.
One side worries 'bout our debts.
One side deals out shouts and threats.
And neither offers shifts or flips or bends.

Or-din-ar-y folks are sick of drama.
To the normal voter this is strange.
When they went for Barack Obama
Did they think this was "Hope And Change"?

The right wing is for personal freedom
And each man gets to keep the biggest portion.
Big government programs? They don't need 'em,
But you had better be against abortion!
The Tea Party has never been law breakers.
Unlike the left they never cause disorder.
Right says there'll be more jobs - for those Occupier slobs
If they can build a fence down on the border.

Still the right wing and the left wing can't be friends.
Neither one will give an inch or make amends.
One says "Harness E.P.A.".
One says "Make all fat cats pay!".
And both are watching latest polls and trends.

For when the next election time has come 'round,
Extremists and loud radical dissenters
Will wake up and they'll find their plans were unsound
For neither side was "ninety-nine percenters".

(Solo - slowly)
I'd like to give you wisdom from my top shelves,
As both sides hit us with their fiddle-diddle:
"You both may carry on with lots of words to please youselves
(A tempo)
But you will go nowhere without the middle!".
(All)
You both may carry on with lots of words to please yourselves
But you will go nowhere without the middle!

Or-din-ar-y folks say work together.
Occupiers - don't pee in the street.
If you want things to get much better
Stop the crap! In the center meet!