Folks, now here's the story 'bout Minnie the Moosie,
She was a low-down moosie floosie
She had the roughest, toughest tail
But Minnie couldn't help it, she weren't drawn all that well

Chorus:
Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi!
Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!
He-de-he-de-he-de-he!
Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-ho!

Now, she stuck around with a mouse named Mickey
Because, let's face it, she couldn't be picky
His er.. hands and feet were teeny and tiny, whereas his
Ears were humungous - bigger than Prince Chas's

Chorus

Now, Minnie it must be told had behaved disgraceful
With every toon in town, yeah she'd been unfaithful
And Mickey after hearing one woeful report
Sent his lawyer with a writ - "I'll see ya in court"

Chorus

Mickey on the stand went to tell it like it is
The judge, he took a lighter view of her infidelities:
"You can't divorce her just because she's buck-toothy"
Mickey replied "No, I said she's ****ing Goofy"

Chorus

Poor Min, poor Min, poor Min.