(“Here we go again, Junior!”)

We’re off on the road to the New Year’s,
This waiting, we’ll get through just fine.
(“Beats the bus, huh, Junior!” “Oh, beats me!”)
Daily routine, news commentary, always a bombard,
And after nine-to-five, take a glance at Carole Lombard! (“Ya-hoo!”)

Off on the road to the New Year’s,
Hang on ‘til the end of the line,
I hear there’s evil forces/Grandpa Magic/Uncle Albert waiting to spook you to go to hell,
We’d tell you more but the site rules soon will have us on our tails!

We certainly do lounge around;
Like Ryan Seacrest’s party, we’re both New Year’s bound!

We’re counting the days ‘til the New Year,
Look out! Well, clear the way, ‘cause here we come!
The high school’s last day, the has-been trails, and the lovely Lombard calf,
I’m sure there must be better ways to try and milk a laugh!

Just three weeks until it’s the New Year,
And I’m sure you’ll want to get drunk,
For Phillip Drummond’s looking down with shame upon our clout,
While Arnold Jackson gives the look and says,
“Whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?”

We certainly do wait around,
Like watching your hero die of a brain disorder,
And wondering how it could have possibly taken so long,
We’re both New Year’s bound!

Or, like taking a talk show host’s last day of high school and beating it into the ground,
…Or taking forgotten celebrities and tributing them in your entries,
…And honoring an old couple that no one ever heard of,
…Or milking the days until New Year’s knowing that you wasted yet another 365 days, and then you realize this year was a leap year, so you had a whole extra day to fill with copy/pasted stupidity,
…Then when the big day comes, get drunk, fall face-flat on your keyboard and say:
“Happynewdarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”!

…We’re both New Year’s bound!

(“We could get arrested!”)