It was nearly at prime time
Yet I was stuck in another line
Thinking I wouldn't be home 'til two
Nobody's in a good mood
Standing right in front of me
Was an obnoxious woman acting saintly
It was her turn in the line
And in her hands she had
A pair of shoes

And then the clerk dropped the shoes
Right on the women's toe
And as she pretended to have dismay
I couldn't believe what I heard her say

"Sir I think I'm gonna sue
for hurting me
You dropped the shoes and I'm American
Get a lawyer Sir
I'll make you do some jail time
You see I have those Bill of Rights
I know I could sue for even mosquito bites
And I wanted to make money
For a no-big-deal accident Tonight."

She pretended to cry a real tear
And the clerk says "look there's no evidence here."
But she just smiled smugly
And she turned and he looked at me
And she said "You have witnessed this stupid louse
Drop the shoe and make me pout"

"Tell me Sir
Will you testify
For I'm American and feel that I can sue."



But I simply frowned
I refused to help her out
And I'll never forget
Her anger(like ants)
When I said "Try not to wet your pants."

"Sir I think I'm gonna sue
for hurting me
You dropped the shoes and I'm American
Get a lawyer Sir
I'll make you do some jail time
You see I have those Bill of Rights
I know I could sue for even mosquito bites
And I wanted to make money
For a no-big-deal accident Tonight."

I know I won't regret that word
As she hit me and gave a shout
I know that God sent that stupid bird
to remind me
What America's all about

"Sir I think I'm gonna sue
for hurting me
You dropped the shoes and I'm American
Get a lawyer Sir
I'll make you do some jail time
You see I have those Bill of Rights
I know I could sue for even mosquito bites
And I wanted to make money
For a no-big-deal accident Tonight."

"I wanted to make money
For a no-big-deal accident Tonight."