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Song Parodies -> "Jingle-Hell Schlock"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bell Rock"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bobby Helms
Parody Song Title:
"Jingle-Hell Schlock"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
Jingle-hell, jingle-hell, jingle-hell schlock;
jingle-hell brings us jingle-hell sings.
Smoke they are blowin’ up butts, bums, and buns.
Loud is jingle schlock…runs and runs.
Jingle-hell, jingle-hell, jingle-hell schlock;
jingle-hell rhymes all over prime time.
Ad man are bad men with jingle-hell airs
they fob off on air.
Every nighttime is the blight time;
and schlock’s on during day.
Jingle-hell time ain’t no swell time
Yet hacks write this crap, so it must pay.
Give it up, jingle bores, leave us in peace…
jingles around the clock!
Because each single ditty is not a treat…
all this jingle-hell schlock.
Jingle-hell, jingle-hell, jingle-hell schlock;
jingle-hell rhymes all over prime time.
Ad man are sad men in jingle-hell lairs,
fobbing off this fare.
In the nighttime non-delight rhymes
are what the networks play.
Jingle-hell time ain’t no swell time.
Yet hacks write this crap that won’t go ’way.
Give it up, jingle whores, leave us in peace…
jingles around the clock.
These sonic dingleberries are not a treat.
Ban this jingle hell,
rancid jingle hell.
Damn this jingle-hell schlock!
jingle-hell brings us jingle-hell sings.
Smoke they are blowin’ up butts, bums, and buns.
Loud is jingle schlock…runs and runs.
Jingle-hell, jingle-hell, jingle-hell schlock;
jingle-hell rhymes all over prime time.
Ad man are bad men with jingle-hell airs
they fob off on air.
Every nighttime is the blight time;
and schlock’s on during day.
Jingle-hell time ain’t no swell time
Yet hacks write this crap, so it must pay.
Give it up, jingle bores, leave us in peace…
jingles around the clock!
Because each single ditty is not a treat…
all this jingle-hell schlock.
Jingle-hell, jingle-hell, jingle-hell schlock;
jingle-hell rhymes all over prime time.
Ad man are sad men in jingle-hell lairs,
fobbing off this fare.
In the nighttime non-delight rhymes
are what the networks play.
Jingle-hell time ain’t no swell time.
Yet hacks write this crap that won’t go ’way.
Give it up, jingle whores, leave us in peace…
jingles around the clock.
These sonic dingleberries are not a treat.
Ban this jingle hell,
rancid jingle hell.
Damn this jingle-hell schlock!
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User Comments
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Sonic dingleberries - great term!
this Jingle certainly wasn't H*'ll! 5s
My least favorite Christmas song. Great job of demolishing it. So many advertisers and newscasters making elementary mistakes in grammar and usage. Lots of just plain stupidity. Nice to see one of the old timers still working his magic with the lyrics of a song I actually recognize.
Good metaphor descriptions - sonic dingleberries! Feel yucky in the ears, yeah? Some of the 'traditional' stuff gets to ya, and all these pop tarts DESTROYING your fave songs (Christmas or otherwise) is annoying but this parody is good. Remember that annoying-as-hell ditty 'Dear Baby Jesus' sung by a very little young girl accompanied to a tinkly music box cranked up? Who wants to?
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