Would you like to sing in a bar?
Get so drunk you can't drive a car
You'll sound better then than you are

And you won't care that you're a fool

A fool is an idiot, can be any age
Who picks up a microphone on stage
His brain is addled and his voice is weak
He paddles up that kareoke creek
And by the way, if you must drink to be cool
You may get up and be a fool

And then you'll go and sing in a pub
And prove to every drunk you're a schlub
Better quit while you're ahead, bub

Or would you rather try and dance?

A dance is an exercise that proves you're a klutz
You may knock people on their butts
You have two lefties when you hit the floor
You're stiff and clumsy and it's all a chore
But if you don't care how stupidly you prance
You may go out and try to dance

Or do you just go in there to score?
Try to pick up some skanky whore?
She's not cute? Well drink a few more

You could be getting some tonight

A girl won't do anything until you impress
If you want to get her to undress
You need to flirt and say all the right lines
And check that licence so you don't do time
But then if that sort of thing is your delight
You might just score with her tonight

And all the drunkies aren't in A.A.
They're all over making their play
They're all singin', dancin' away
You could be worse off than you are
You could be singin in a bar