Oh, his name is Yak the Parrot, he's the greenest in the land
He's known for strewin' ordure, though his diet's pretty bland
He stains the drapes and bedding and the carpet in the hall
And when he stains his human's skull, it makes him caterwaul

Oh, he utters slang with a nimble twang and the hordes are way amazed
The hearty chumps are so amused while he recites each phrase
His deafening sentences brutalize brutes and his lewdness, it should be banned
He threatens all the hirelings of Yak the Parrot's man


In town he learned some cursing and some varied ways to swear
His animal imitations wowed the entries at the fair
His lecherous rants and tiresome raves, they shook the wives and grams
They said they'd never heard the likes of Yak the Parrot's slams

Oh, he slung harangues at assembled gangs, they abhorred the way he brayed
Some farting bums and old buffoons said he was quite risqué
Some menacing men in green scooted in boots from the hootin' along the strand
A regiment of firemen made Yak the Parrot scram


Oh, at stake's a bunch of moolah and some thievin' guys do come
To play with Yak the Parrot's man and deal with thick chafed thumbs
And when he barks a song for treats, the players wink and clap
He does a funky hula, swaying with a stylish flap

Though he swears the clubs are shamrocks, he knows twos and fours from threes
And he's the chummiest crooked sneak that views the deck with ease
There he goes flyin', goes spyin', goes peekin' and cheatin' to memorize each hand
Slyly whispering in his owner's ear is Yak the Parrot's plan

Oh, the bums get spanked by his wicked pranks and they mourn the way they've played
Some hearts get dumped, one folds too soon, a guy is light in spades
His feathery blethering boodles the loot and the foolish are out a grand
Deceptively conspirin' is Yak the Parrot's scam

That's Yak the Parrot!