Oh, it's out there, bold and bare
On the corner of his cheek,
De Niro's mole
Just a bump, tiny lump,
Nature's logo for a peek,
It gives him soul...

Little hill on the skin, like a sting from bees
In his pics and movies, it's an eye dart tease
Kind a' blemish addicts would just love to squeeze
De Nire's mole

Tho' it's not loose,
It'll wobble, with a bobble
When he speaks, or rolls his eyes
That small cayuse
Dermal blunder, makes ya' wonder
About "ifs" and "ands" and "whys"

Some ladies flip for his blip, nearly lose their senses
Gaze sexual ways, inner heat intenses,
Like Thanksgiving turkeys finding holes in fences,
De Niro's mole
De Niro's mole

Is it grand, or just bland, we'd like your opinion of
De Niro's mole
Should it be taken off, or untouched by surgeon's glove,
De Niro's mole

Send your bucks, fill our trucks with a lotta' cash
We're gonna' hold a contest, so those entries dash
Big winner gets a dinner and the laser ash,
(from) De Niro's mole
De Niro's mole

No, it's not loose,
It'll wobble, kinda' bobble
When he talks, or rolls his eyes
That small cayuse
Bluish blunder, makes ya' wonder
About "ifs" and "ands" and "whys"

Those ladies flip for his blip, nearly lose their senses
Gaze sexual ways, inner heat intenses,
Like Thanksgiving turkeys finding holes in fences,
De Niro's mole
De Niro's mole