Poor farmboy Eragon was pitiful,
He couldn't get any lamer,
And Paolini's book was shrunk to half it's size,
To make the tale a lot tamer.

La li la, li de da,
La la, li le la da dum.

But then Eragon went out to catch some dinner,
Found a blue shiny rock instead,
Oh and now Eragon feels like he's a big winner,
Though Durza sure wants the boy dead.

Save us from doom, you're the Rider now,
Save us from Urgals and Shades,
'Cause Galbatorix's lines are just sissy-like whines,
But power still thrives in his blade.

Now Murty the shamed is a friend of his,
And so is the red-headed girl.
To the fans great surprise, Arya's ears were resized,
And the dwarves don't exist anymore.

Oh, la la la, di de da,
La la, di di da da dom.

The kid wants you to know, he's all seventeen years,
Though Brom's huge mistake's a wrong guess,
Still boy and man bond and as Eragon fears,
Brom takes one for him in the chest.

Ajihad's a sight in his armor there,
As he sends Morzan's son to the cage,
But Murtagh's got feelings and bravely he dares,
To love Nasuada anyway.

In the sky, Durza's made a big black dragon beast,
I guess Rider's aren't really that great,
'Cause just anyone can conjure a dragon from smoke,
Poor Eragon's facing defeat.

Oh la la la, di de da,
La la, di di, da da dum,

Save us from doom, you're the rider now,
Save us from sad Mary-Sues
'Cause you're strong with the E branded into your palm,
And Galby will soon get his dues.

It's a lousy excuse of a battle scene,
There's no gems to break in the sky,
And the pain from the flame we can hear in the screams,
Of the underpaid falling stunt guys.

Oh, and Arya's all hot for the Rider boy,
She flirts like a girl in first grade,
Oh, fans don't you cry, I don't think that they'll try,
To get the next sequel tape made.

Save us from doom, you're the rider now,
Save us at once from the pain,
Of bad movies that last little more than an hour,
How will Fox carry on with the shame?