Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!
I've grown addicted to this place
It almost makes the day begin
I've grown addicted to the trolls that
Start threads here night and noon
The rants, debate,
The love, the hate
Are second nature to me now
Just logging on and lurkin'
I was serenely independent and content before I came
But then I found these boards; since then I've never been the same, and
I've grown addicted to these posts
Addicted to these threads
Addicted to this place.

"Go get a life." What an infantile idea. What a stupid, pointless, brainless thing to do
That they'll regret, they'd regret it. It's doomed before I even take my bow

I can see it now, a proper life away from here
What a wretched little thing I'm sure it'll be
I can see it now, working hours through the night
Doing useful things when I am free;
I'd try to fight the wars I used to
And end up teaching 'em instead
The Big Bang don't disproveth God
And dinosaurs are ancient and long dead

In a year, or so, when the Pit is but a memory
And I've gotten high and gotten drunk and laid
I'll go online, and lo, all the regulars'd be gone
With trolls and noobs infesting every thread
How depressing. How simply frightful!
How upsetting. How delightful!
How poignant it'll be on that inevitable night
When they spam my e-mail inbox full with pleas
Miserable and lonely, repentant and contrite
Will I come to post again or hit delete?
Help them rid the place of brainless posts?
Rejoin them once again or leave those sods for good?

But I'll forgive them all the same;
No matter what, I never, ever could
Hang to a grudge created on the Web
That would just besmirch my name
But, I shall never post again.
If mails poured in on every date
Let them promise to atone
Let them shiver, let them moan
I'll close the window'n let the losers wait

Wait forever - ha!

But I'm so used to hearing the tone
Of a new e-mail alert
The rush, the fun
As one, by one
They bow to my superior intellect
Just logging in and lurking
I'm very grateful they are noobs
And so easy to forget
Rather like a habit
One can always break-
And yet,

I've grown addicted to this space
To something on these threads
Addicted to this place.