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Song Parodies -> "Bullet Guide Mean"

Original Song Title:

"Zestfully Clean"

Original Performer:

Zest TV Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"Bullet Guide Mean"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The US Army is testing two weapons that they think will alter firearms tech. One is the Lockheed/Teledyne EXACTO rifle in .50 BMG which uses optical sensors to guide the round to target. How the bullet steers is classified, but may use a pinhead camera and air channels. The other is a laser riding flechette with wings made by Sandia Labs. The bullet rides a laser. I find it amusing that the Germans who are making secret weapons again, reject these guns. They have a plasma rifle in development, gas jet cannon, have invented laser flak stationary and for mobile armor, and the Leopard 3 tank with the 140mm Rheinmetall gun can fire at Mach 6 not needing a rail gun that fires Mach 7 for 5 rounds and then overheats! Oh, and the Germans just invented a laser freeze ray and dominate Quantum computer tech and supersoldier tech for the Bundeswehr.
Bullet guide mean!
Bullet guide things!
Optics riding, laser guiding wasteful spending!

Ballistically!
Mechanically!
What are they thinking?

You can still get killed by a HK-416
Which costs far less without the weight penalty!

If you can't make an ACR, no joke,
then what purpose for crazy snipers, sensor scopes?

Sandia? Lockheed and Teledyne? Firearms hope?

[Stick to nukes and stealth aircraft]
Note: tech is not that new. Nazis had rocket bullets in WW2 with experimental guns and used rocket assisted artillery shells operationally.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - November 24, 2016 - Report this comment
EXACTO stands for EXtreme ACcuracy Tasked Ordnance.
Jonathan - November 24, 2016 - Report this comment
EXACTO-mundo! 5s
John Lomain - November 24, 2016 - Report this comment
Or maybe it means the Xacto carving knife! 5s

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