I brought a bouquet to your front door
With hearts of red and a loving note.
By your door's window, stood on my tiptoes...
You're not even yet thirteen;
What I saw was just obscene!

I saw that guy on your sofa tonight,
And that birthmark on your backside to the right.
They're sweet and pure, but your looks are all lies!
I cried my eyes out on your porch tonight.

Won't shake your sticky hand; hey, don't touch me!
No, this valentine is not for you.
Do you kiss other boys with those same lips?
Never on mine again:
'Cause I saw where they've been!

I saw you riding that bad boy tonight;
I saw the hairs down where the sun sheds no light.
It's not the view, but the tears in my eyes
That drove me blind at that disgusting sight.

Blind at the sight of how he plowed through you;
Now I can't desire to feel your touch anymore.

I saw you both laid bare;
No, I ain't going there!

I saw that guy lie beneath you tonight;
Now I'm wishing I could just blot out the sight.
Your birthday suits are a blight on my eyes.
Your folks will find out what you've done tonight.

This ugly truth could draw blood from my eyes!
They'll tan your hide for what you've done tonight.