Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down,
I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
As I tell you how I got warts and I got them down there,

In suburbs of Seattle, born and raised,
As a playboy is where I spend most of my days,
Chillin' out, laughin', actin' all cool,
With my girl at my place just after school,
When I saw in her eyes that she was in a good mood,
I winked at her, and I could tell she understood,
We got home that night, "cuz my mom's not there,
She was off on business in south Delaware,
I kissed and cuddled with her, rest of the day,
And, that night, we did something the channel would not display,
She gave me a kiss, was like she gave me a ticket,
She laid back and I said "I might as well stick it!",
Next day, yo, there's no way,
I got STDs from just one night, oi vey!
Is this what the people in Friends are really like?
Hmmthis doesn't feel nice,
It hurts when I pee, syphilis and all that,
But is this going to keep down this cool cat?
I don't think so, they cannot stop me,
I'm still a fresh prince, but I have VD,

Well ah,
School's over and when I came out,
There were some girls in the corner all callin' my name out,
I ain't had a real party since last year,
I sprang with real quickness, like lightning to the beer,
I whistled at a girl and when she came near,
My vision was blurry, but she seemed quite fair,
If anything I thought I should warn of my disease,
But I thought, nah, forget it, yo, girl, upstairs!

I woke up with a headache at seven or eight,
I yelled to the girl, yo homes, see you later,
I feel bad, I'm sure she'll know it was me,
Who gave her the problem of 12 STDs.