I've got a ha-ank'ri-in' for photograph alt'ri-in'
And I'd love to click awa-a-ay
But then I find ou-out that the best image softwa-are
Always comes at a pri-ice so insa-ane
My face starts glo-owi-in' red, but then I noti-ice
The best four words written nea-ea-eat
"Free thirty day trial", there we go-o
Got me a free-ee tria-ial chea-eat

I ain't shellin' out the dough for this, think no-o-ot
Find it astoundin' that no-one else has thou-ought
To download the tria-ial and re-download so-o it stays free-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
But it's the real way to go-o, usin' my free-ee tria-ial chea-eat

It seems kinda di-ickish, a tad profit-hurty-y
I'm sorry, but I couldn't ca-a-are
Assholes are chargi-in' four hundred dolla-ars
Just so I can re-emove stray hai-airs?
The loophole's too te-empti-in', I can't leave it resti-in'
Can't sit here and mope in my sea-ea-eat
Plug my e-mail in, here we go-o
Startin' my free-ee tria-ial chea-eat

It comes off as some sick joke, to charge a lo-o-ot
When I've been findin' a lot of free knocko-offs
Still want the best, ri-ight, minus the exo-orbitant fee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
It's the only way to go-o, usin' my free-ee tria-ial chea-eat
Hang on, this must be a joke, it's a ripo-o-off
Free version's hidin' all the best parts, what ro-ot
Got a feelin', ri-ight, the e-mail part wa-as to trick me-e-e-e-e-e
And make sure my trick would blo-ow up, there's no free-ee tria-ial chea-eat
Oh-oh-oh-oh, a-at least for this program, thou-ou-ough
They saw my free-ee tria-ial chea-eat