The light’s turning red,
The light’s not turning red,
But the light’s really glowing red,
But, really, who cares if the light is red?
‘Cause I don’t.

Noisy helicopter in the sky above me,
It’s got a top-down view
Of the getaway car that I stole.
Now the cops scan my plates, dog-gone-it.
I’ve got to really step my foot on it,
In the getaway car that I stole.

I’ve got a secret I’d tell,
But they’d put me inside a cell—
I held a bank up, and the blue paint’s got me covered up well.
So the cops are following me.
Meanwhile, I really can’t see.
Turn on the wiper fluid; it works like C-R-A-P.
My mask was brilliant;
They’ll find no fingerprints.
Where’s my wallet?

Cell phone ringing in the pocket of my blue jeans—
It’s Grandma Marylou
In the getaway car that I stole.
She turned on the TV, I’m on it.
She warns me of the oncoming traffic
In a getaway car that I stole.

The light’s turning red,
The light’s not turning red,
But the light’s really glowing red,
But, really, who cares if the light is red?
‘Cause I don’t.

There’s a picture on the TV:
It’s a detailed drawing of me.
They’ve got my face down from my bald head to my hip goatee.
Know I regret this a lot,
But that’s only if I am caught.
I intend to pull innocent bystanders into the plot.
While they all step aside,
I’ll give them all free rides
On my hood.

Hear the sirens, and they’re screaming at me high-pitched.
They’re saying, “I’ll get you!”
Trailing getaway cars that I stole.
Never tried to be Hooked on Phonics.
I wish I’d never dropped out of college.
Now I’m in this hot car that I stole.

While I floor it,
Keep the police from the getaway car that I stole.