They're shocking while shopping...
These people left me gawking...
A buncha white trash fools who're brain-dead...
Some beached-whale flashed her bum
Those hip-huggers were too snug
Made me scrape... my eyeballs... from the floor, Friend

Well...
There's weirdos spending and they're all offending
Deadful as ghouls and my mind needs cleansing
Folks are so dense that it leaves me stunned
They reek like farts and they should be shunned

That dude is nude?!
That freak has tweaked!
In a thong while walking his pet sheep
Are they psycho or just stoned?!
They crossed the line since they left home!

Hey now!
You're at Wal-Mart!
There's no shame shown!
You're crazed!
Fat cow!
Buying Pop-Tarts!
Not a sane one!
I'm dazed!
Damn... That nutter's so bold....
Drunks straight from the bar... Dressed as tro-olls!

Grip on your mace
While surrounded by grocers
I'm freaking out now but it keeps getting grosser
Check out Pee Wee Herman in a romper
Faces filled with moles and some dripping huge honkers

Out of my way!
I think I'm getting sick!
That nutcase rolled in worms and got hit by a brick
The folks they hired?!
They're much worse!
Store is run by mutants so hold onto your purse!

Hey now!
You're at Wal-Mart!
See that dame doused...
In flames!
Oh wow!
There's a lobster!
On that dude's dong!
He's maimed!
I'll slip on a blindfold
You know you'll be scarred... When you stro-oll...

(((Show off the loons!)))
(Mostly buffoons!)
(So many goons!)
(((Just like cartoons!)))

Hey now!
You're at Wal-Mart!
There's no tame one...
In space!
You'll scowl...
At these monsters
Send a robot...
In place!
(And) You've got jitters, I knooooow!
Braver men have looooooost...

Rush... In and out fast... Or they'll leave you so aghast
You're drenched in sweat each time that you're in this plaaaaaace...
Creeps on METH! Have garbage breath!
Snagged some juice boxes off of that shelf
Since they have all I need for spare chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaange...

WELL!
We all love bargains when we're spending margins
Keepin' our jewels, You won't catch me at Target
Spending our cents There's a slutty nun
There's a lawn dart lodged into that man's butt

That goof's skin's blue!
That geek wears skis!
That ding-dong has clown shoes on his feet!
My mind is blown and I must groan (GROAN!)
You'll hear me whine while in this zone

Hey now!
You're at Wal-Mart
You'll exclaim: "Gosh!"
Amazed...
You'll frown!
There's a mobster...
With a Mohawk
Displayed...
Makes me skittish, Yelled "No-ope!"
Shoppers so bizarre... 'round the glo-obe...
Post on Twitter these do-opes
I think they're from Mars... That's my ho-ope...