[spoken]
Oh my word, Chet look at his gut. It is SO big.
It looks like Shamu just got beached, man.
Look man his belt's trying to escape, it's just barely hangin' on
WOAH, there's some real hot chick comin' down towards us.
She's all mine, I'm all up in wait, she's heading for Shamu.
What the HELL, man? Why's she heading for that tub of lard?
DAAAMNlook.
He's just so FAT.

[rap begins]
She likes big guts on a rounded guy,
you other brothers can't deny
That when a guy walks in with a great big bang and a gut with over-hang
That's well-HUNG
Wanna cozy up, to a man with a size D-cup

Ridin' that old spare tire
Loves guys with their own deep-fryers
OH big boy, she wants a big player,
with extra layer
Her girlfriends get disgusted,
but she likes a man w-w-w-who's girdle's busted

Ooh, takes up two rows,
you say you never seen all them toes?
Get clothes all-Big'n'Tall,
'cause she don't care 'bout cholest'rol

Don't keep it quiet,
to hell with that diet
You're male,
pale,
gettin' weighed out on a Richter Scale

Get tired of girls who say, that a fat man ain't in shape?
'Cause the only shape that can ask her out, it is a round'n'stout

So fellas (YEAH)
Fellas (YEAH)
Does your girlfriend like da gut? (Hell Yeah)
Tell 'er you love her, won't shove her, and let her be on top

Chasin' that chub'
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)

Chasin' that chub'
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)

She likes 'em round and big,
she'll never call you a pig
She just can't help herself, she's actin' like a animal,
'round those love handles

Now goin' small ain't wise,
so Unngh, SUPER-SIZE, Unngh-Unngh
She ain't talking 'bout tum' tuck,
there's reason that Lipo- ends with –suck

She wants a man like a planet,
so big that it's just heinous
Makes a real big gain-fuss,
beggin' for a piece of Ur-anus

She was lookin' at magazine pics,
men like chop-sticks makin' her sick?
You can have them tooth-picks,
she wants a man who eats BOTH Twix

A word to the big-boned buds now,
she wants a big belly,
one that rolls like jelly
But I gotta be straight when I say she wanna (groan) with a guy not thin
Maybe with a double chin,
that his neck was swallowed in

'Cause some don't like the cushin' for pushin',
but she likes some hard-y lard
Someone large,
and in charge,
hit a Homer and she'll be your Marge

So honeys (Yeah)
Honeys (Yeah)
Do you want a guy weighed in ton-ies? (Yeah)
Then grab a man, with a bounce
Cause it is the size that counts

Chasin' that Chub'

Chasin' that Chub'

[spoken]
Yeah, fatty. When it comes to thin guys, they don't have nothin' to offer.
After the Armageddon, they won't have the fat layers to survive anyway.

[rap]
There are thin men actin' phony,
eatin' fruit but not Bologna
But only men who don't eat enough'a meat get lonely
Her man-aloni EATS ALL DAY and he's OK that WAY

He can't do side-bends or sit-ups,
but she still loves that gut
Some brothers wanna make you not like your(self),
and tell ya that the gut's bad health
But that girl there, they warned her,
And she pulled up quick to get warmer

So Cosmo says you're fat,
well she ain't down with that
'Cause you're not so fat,
you just look good thickened
yeah, beefed-up and Nesquikened

And those slim-Jims up in the magazines?
Have some candy, pansy
Doin' that lo-carb, that's for retards
You burn some fat when you eat hard

Those others just can't amount,
To your 'Always-Group' discount
You got jeans but you just can't fit 'em
And she's still OK if you split 'em

So if you are a girl out there
And you want a rounded man, not square
Dial 1-900-R-U-B-A-C-H-U-B
And leave off 'B' for bounce

Chasin' that Chub'

Chasin' that Chub'

(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's no Jack Sprat)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)