Yeah, they're still here? Tell me why
Get off your lazy bum, do your job for once
Don those rubber gloves, c'mon, do it now

Agreed on the day you moved in long ago
We'd split in half the washin' loads
It's not a shock you hate the job, I know
But your slackness has got me so mad
Not had cooked meals in six weeks, you see (uh-huh)
All my shoppin' for fresh meat and cheese
Wasted, cause the pots are caked in grease
And the pans all share this shade of green (that's right)
Don't be stupid and blame on me
You know that it's you who hates to clean, don't believe your lies
Won't hold up your end (uh-huh)
Of the simple bargain we made as friends
Dude, I reel feelin' what's here congealed
I can't stand how you can stand a meal
Made next to dishes that smell like death (smell like death)
I know you get pissed at the flies next to them

We've been out of plates for at least four days
Do I have to say this one more time, mate?
Wash the dishes, dude
On the couch you lay, watchin' Scrubs all day
Really wish you'd take that name the right way
Wash the dishes, dude
I mean, it's sad

It's kinda hard when you slob around (yeah)
To make sure we don't get turfed out (ha)
I won't wash 'til you pay your due
There they'll stay, so pay your due
No, I don't mean pay your rent
Figurativ'ly is what I meant
You give me the right amount of green that I need (uh-huh)
But I need you to clean
You're sick of fast food ev'ry night?
Do your fair share, man, and then you'll find
I can make dish after delicious dish
Now that there's room and shit
Claim you're shit at doin' 'em, know that's rot
Cause that's your whole damn job (kind your whole job)
A dishie at that bistro, you twit (you're a twit)
There's "bringin' work home" and there's lies, go wash it

Ev'ry dish is caked ('fraid so) in congealed sauce, mate (big issue)
If you're sick of KFC, off your date
Wash the dishes, dude (yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah)
Know you think you'll wait 'till my patience breaks (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Do them myself, mate, won't work, I'm afraid
Wash the dishes, dude, cause there's a giant pile

May be boring, feels it's never over
This way, you'll keep your face
So sick of this, mate, you agreed to scrape
The dishes, won't take that long, off your date (wash it, dude)
Move it, you ingrate (wash it, dude) (not such a big hassle), won't appreciate (wash it, dude) (your excuses are plain bogus)
When I stand and scrape (wash it, dude) them when you won't, mate (wash it, dude) (I'm at my last wit's end, it stinks like shit)
I might go insane (wash it, dude) if your left hand waves (wash it, dude) (and I won't stop)
And you dare to say (wash it, dude) (buggin' you cause) "I'll get to it, mate" (wash it, dude) (it's ripe)
Think you've said that phrase (wash it, dude) at least twice each day (wash it, dude)
So tempted to chain (wash it, dude) (still stinks like shit) both your legs in place (wash it, dude, wash it, dude)

Need a new roommate (oh, no) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude) who won't slack all day (wash it, dude) (wash it, dude)
And do what he claimed (wash it, dude) he'd do yesterday (wash it, dude)
Wash the dishes, dude (yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude, wash it, dude)
Really miss the taste (wash it, dude, wash it, dude) of a well-cooked steak (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) (wash it, dude)
Won't eat out, no way (wash it, dude), don't deserve that, mate (wash it, dude)
Wash the dishes, dude (wash it, dude, wash it, dude, wash it, dude)
The smell that mess makes (he-e-ey, he-e-ey) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude) causes me real pain (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (wash it, dude)
Turn off that dumb game (wash it, dude), scrub away these stains (wash it, dude)
Wash the dishes, dude (wash the dishes, dude) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude, wash it, dude)
Don't you dare to claim (don't you bloody claim) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude) I'm the one to blame (oh-oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (wash it, dude)
I clean up your stains (wash it, dude), more than you mine, mate (wash it, dude)
Wash the dishes, dude (wash it, dude, wash it, dude, wash it, dude)
Fine, I'll go and scrape (your last warning) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude) all this mess away (no more damn do-overs) (wash it, dude)
But I swear one day (wash it, dude), you'll do this and pay (just know) (wash it, dude)
Wash the dishes, dude (I'll see you scrape) (wash it, dude, wash it, dude, wash it, dude)