Pump sat alone in Manchester
with United they really do remark
waiting for the Man Utd team to win
they always win, they do, and they do not remember

Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
you are a girlfriend of Hitler
Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
now please don't die in Germany

Wearing all the things that we used to read
like comics, kids cartoons, and footie stickers
wishing well like the late Freddie Mercury
wearing him out like Eamon Holmes
you suck now

Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
where are you now
Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
join as a team

Wahey

Pump, don't know Pump
read to me now, oh Pump
Pump, don't like Pump
whisper to me now, Pump
don't stop

Reading about Fleetwood Mac in bed
made Mary Anne Hobbs use Hitler's voice
Reading more on Sepultura
you have to go to bed with 'Roots Bloody Roots'
you're sucking dick now

Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
you are reading NME
Oh Pump, Oh Pump, Oh Pump
wearing your Mick Fleetwood

Is this Pump out of my arse
i don't know
Is this Pump into my pussy
oh no, no, no
(EXCITED): Yeah, woow
Is this Pump with Miranda Hart
I don't know
Is this Pump into Fleetwood Mac
is that it