Today, was gonna be okay
But instead it really ain’t all that
Locked in, for committing the sin
Of just smuggling [smuggle-ing] on board a cat
I don’t believe six months in stasis
For breaking quarantine is really right

So then, I’m waking up again
An the ‘puter tells me “Dave they’re dead”
Ask: “Who?” And Holly says “The crew”
And I still don’t follow what he said
I can’t believe a cadmium leak
Three million years ago, killed them all

My friend’s a stupid hologram called Rimmer;
The senile ship’s computer’s even dimmer
Yeah and there’s a lifeform that evolved from my pet cat
It’s just so tragic

So I’m out here
And I’ve probably gone a thousand light years
I’ll stay the course
On the Red Dwarf

It’s true, we added to the crew
With a sanitary mechanoid
‘cept from, his head like condom
Think his company I have enjoyed
I can’t believe that I am the
Last human in the galaxy at all

And all I want is lager and a curry
Earth is out there somewhere; we must hurry
Five guys in a ten mile ship should get along just fine
But it’s just not true

The whole crew’s dead
And all I’ve got’s a bunch of smeg-heads
But after all
This is Red Dwarf

The whole crew’s dead
And all I’ve got’s a bunch of smeg-heads
But after all
This is Red Dwarf

The whole crew’s dead
And all I’ve got’s a bunch of smeg-heads
And all I’ve got’s a bunch of smeg-heads
And all I’ve got’s a bunch of smeg-heads