Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!

Flick: Schoolyard
In the middle of winter.
My buddy is goading me.
Pretty poor friend!

Lousy Schwartz.
What game is he playing?
He’s pointing and saying,
“Triple dog dare!”

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: Why?)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
(Flick: Shut up!)
Schwartz: Triple dog dare!
(Flick: That’s so dumb!)

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
Double dog dare you.
(Flick: So dumb, Schwartz!)
Schwartz: Triple dog dare!

Flick: Flagpole,
Imposing and icy.
My chances are dicey.
The guys are behind me.

They’re all staring.
They’ve gathered to mock me.
And me, I can’t talk because I took the dare,
And boy, was that stupid!

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: What?)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!
(Flick: That’s so dumb!)

Schwartz: Dare you.
I double dare you.
(Flick: Ugh...)
Schwartz: Double dog dare you.
Triple dog dare!

Flick: Help, ’cause I’ve got a flagpole on me!
Lost all my verbal control, you see.
Can’t say that it was my goal to be
Freezing cold and stuck.
I’m livid and unlucky!

Ralphie: Uh-oh.
(Flick: Ralphie!)
Ralphie: Looks like it’s frozen.
(Flick: Help me!)
Ralphie: School doors are closin’.
(Flick: Please!)
Ralphie: Look, Flick, I care.
(Flick: Weird way to show it!)

Ralphie: But... well...
(Flick: Well what?)
Ralphie: You hear the school bell.
(Flick: Yeah, who cares?)
Ralphie: Flick, if you can’t tell,
(Flick: Please!)
Ralphie: I’m feeling stressed.
(Flick: Gee, how do I feel?)

Schwartz: Ralphie...
(Flick: Hey, Schwartz...)
Schwartz: Look at ‘im flailing.
(Flick: You watch out!)
Schwartz: Hear how he’s wailing.
(Flick: Yeah...)
Schwartz: Ralphie, I’m scared.
(Flick: I’m gonna getcha!)

Flick: Save me!
(Schwartz: Sorry!)
Flick: I behaved bravely!
(Schwartz: Gotta run, gotta run...)
Flick: Why did you say to me,
“Triple dog dare?”
(Schwartz: Spare me your glare.)

Flick: Tricked me.
(Schwartz: See ya, Flick!)
Flick: Tricked me so coldly.
Nobody told me
(Ralphie: Bye!)
Flick: Life’s so unfair.
(Schwartz: Hang in there!)

Flick: Pull me.
(Schwartz: So...)
Flick: Try to unstick me.
(Schwartz: Any chance he’ll get loose?)
Flick: Get me off quickly!
(Ralphie: From the flagpole? No chance.)
Flick: Boy, what a pair...
(Schwartz: What a dumb dare...)

Flick: Free me!
(Miss Shields: Class...)
Flick: Somebody, see me!
(Miss Shields: Wait, he’s where? He’s out there? How did that happen?)
Flick: Wanna feel steamy!
(Miss Shields: What a mess!)
Flick: Boy, I’m depressed...
(Miss Shields: Coming, Flick!)