woke up this morning from the strangest dream
i was wearing a shell, the size of ovaltine
and i was wet like a slug, but i knew, that i was a snail

started out saying 'what is the story?'
found i was a herm, and started to get naughty
won't spend my lifetime trying to get my hands, on other snails

but then i saw the spread of snail pellets
there were blimmin millions, out of here i had to get
and i raced to the corner of the pot, with the other snails

but oh the pellets scattered
and i think i hear a crow
i am so far from home
and i crawl so bloody slow

this whole thing makes me chunder
i'm pretty sick of being a snail

what is with this dream?
i really want to cry
poison, cats and birds
i'm sure that i will die
and you know what i've heard, yeah
the french eat us, what crazy guys

all my life
i've been stepping on em every day
not worth it to get out of the way
but after this i know
to walk around em, and to let em go
i gotta let them go

then i turned into a tortoise, and then into a bee
i woke up a gnome, and he started to eat me
drank some beer, said he's a fool for the taste of snails
yeh, he's a fool for the taste of snails