I had visions i was in them
I was looking into the mirror
i couldn't get any Queerer
even if i tried

I'm a famous rock and roller
look at me hey, i'm on M-T-V
i look like Drew Carey
and i'm big and fat
(but fat is where it's at)

i'm not straight, but i am fat
now how bout that... i'm so fat

been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
and i can't stop eating
all i do is watch tv

put me in the hospital for nerves
and hyper obesity
i'm 5'6" four hundred three
i could have been the biggest star on mtv god darn you

i'm not straight, but i am fat
now how bout that... i'm so fat
i'm not straight, but i am fat
now how bout that... i'm so fat

i wanna publish cd's
and be on mtv
i wanna write good songs
i can't but im tryin'
i'm not as good as sublime
without my glasses im blind
i'm so darn blind
i'm so darn blind

harvey danger, harvey danger
now we're a big one hit wonder
did you ever wonder
what we'll do after this song?

hear the songs on my record
i swear to God that we won't be touring
cause they're so darn boring
the agony of my clogged veins are killing me

i'm not straight, but i am fat
now how bout that... i'm so fat
i'm not straight, but i am fat
now how bout that... i'm so fat