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Song Parodies -> "Knee Drum"

Original Song Title:

"Freedom! '90"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Michael

Parody Song Title:

"Knee Drum"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A lengthy ode to a think that I genuinely do which I didn't know why because I guess the people who gave me my Asperger's diagnosis decided to not tell me what stimming was. Once I learned what that was I was basically "Well, that explains a lot!"
When I'm sittin' down, I will still move a bunch
Not the childish leg swing thing now, I don't have the room, kinda sucks
I hate sittin' down, my energy's too much
Unlike my really, really awful phone, drained out, oh yeah

Been this way since I was a young boy
My nickname was "The Fidget Machine" (was well known as a fidget machine)
All the teachers that I had ended up real annoyed
Could still answer questions easily (I could still answer questions easily)
The urge to play has not gone away
As they'd hoped and I have to say that it ain't that fun for me (ain't that fun for me)
I can't stay in place, constraints just make me go insane, okay?
Though not in a way that's all stabby

Where can my energy then go? Already ruled out my dead phone
I'm not the sort to up and scream, least not in public easily
Not one for handheld types of games, prefer a decent screen, okay?
My solution is at hand and you should know it's lit'ral at that

All that I can do now
Until the time that I can move right out
Is to rhythmic'lly
Tap with my hands because my shoes are annoyingly squeaky (yeah, yeah-eah-eah)
Knee drum (when I'm sittin' down), knee drum (it's how I move a bunch)
Knee drum (it'll keep me sane, least for now), that's how I'll fidget today (don't want my brain turnin' to mush)
Knee drum (I hate sittin' down), knee drum (it just feels like I'm stuck)
Knee drum (and I mean really, really stuck), it's how I fidget all days (like chained right down)

There's a load of things that I'll drum, boy
I just pick what just pops in to me (what to pick? See what pops in to me)
From the latest hits to golden classics, it's fun, boy
To see if anyone that's near me (if anybody that's sittin' near me)
Suddenly gains a look on their face
'Cause they know the tune that I play, love that "Wait, I know that!" glee (real specific glee)
It can take a wait, they'll strain their face to force their brain, oh-oh yeah (oh-oh, yeah)
To make the synapses work snappy

You might think that this a joke, who knows songs by how the drums go?
I don't get how you haven't seen somebody start beltin' out Queen
Just from the stomp-stomp-clap refrain of "We Will Rock You", you can say
That's just one example, man, there's more of those and all of them slap

Lots of songs to work out
From just drum lines, makes me so happy now
And not only me
But I still have to speak the truth: that's an accident, you see (yeah, yeah-eah-eah)
Knee drum (when I'm sittin' down), knee drum (I'm way more focused on)
Knee drum (makin' sure my brain won't leak out), that's how I'll fidget today (from complete and total boredom)
Knee drum (if I'm sittin' down), knee drum (I don't care who hears what)
Knee drum ('cause what I really, really want), it's how I fidget all days (is no freakouts, zero freakouts)

The worst part are the few locations that my habits, I'm forced to quell
It's so hard to force that mental stopper, honestly hurts like hell
Waitin' in the dentist's office, I'm not really feelin' well
Because I need to tap, to click and snap before my mentals start to crack
Have to resist (have to resist), have to resist (but I have to resist)
Know I have to resist in the drive-thru line (have to resist in the drive-thru line)
Have to resist, have to resist (I know what it looks like)
Look like an impatient ass, their wages blow, I won't make 'em sad (I won't make 'em sad)

Wait 'til I get home now
Slap on my thighs 'til there's bruises somehow
'Cause it's what I need
I'm not alone in that, bet you have your habits just like me (yeah, yeah-eah-eah)
Knee drum (oh-oh), knee drum
I knee drum, that's how I'll fidget today
Knee drum, day in, day out, knee drum
I knee drum, it's how I fidget all days (it's how I fidget, I fidget, I fidget all days)

Yeah! It's how I fidget, I fidget, won't switch
All of the toys you've given me broken in half, not for me
Face the facts now, I must fidget, must fidget, won't switch

Didn't intend to have two back-to-back parodies about physical habits, there's only so much that rhymes with "freedom", especially with the way George pronounces it. If it was just "freed'm", I'd have a lot more choice but "free-dum"? Frig me.

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