I can't look
But I can touch
Ow! My butt, it hurts so much
Heaven knows what I'm gonna do
Because my brown eye has turned blue

I got a hemorrhoid!
Inside my anus!
I got a hemorrhoid!
Man, it's so heinous!

Squeezing
Screaming
Then, I start to weeping
When I have to poo
Ass ache
Prep H
But so slow, relief takes
Feels like I've been screwed

I sit down
And then, it starts to kill
My poor butt's like Hamburger Hill
It hurts like hell, it takes it's toll
Who put this barbed wire inside my hole?

I got a hemorrhoid!
I hate my anus!
I'm feeling so annoyed!
Tired of the pain-ugh!

Itching
Bitching
Face is always twitching
Walk real funny too
Burning
Yearning
For just no more hurting
From these butthole blues

I got a hemorrhoid!

That's right, a hemorrhoid!

It sucks
So much
I'd like to trade my butt
For one that's brand new
Mistake
I ate
Now, I'm going to pay
For that spicy food! Ooh!

Plopping, bobbing, then I start to sobbing!
Stinging, stinking, losing all sane thinking!
Mama Mia! Worse, when diarrhea!
Birdy, girdy, I be really hurting!

Pass out, lights out, on the bathroom floor now
As long as unconscious, my ass feels alright

Pass out, lights out, on the bathroom floor now
As long as unconscious, my ass feels alright