(instrumental intro)

This is a real bad work
I've missed verses and my lyrics do not scan
Yes, and right now I'm irked
No, this ain't 'Top Drawer'; say maybe the 'Trash Can'

Think I prob'ly should re-write it
It's done wrong and I sure won't turn this rubbish in
I've perused it through and right now it just does not read true
It's just crap destined for the trash bin

Need a word that means "false pretense"
But it needs to be two syllables
and it has to rhyme with "eve"
where's my language reference?
Seems maybe I need help from above

'Effin' help me, I'm sure in a jam
I can't pace this parody; no way it can be sung
When now I try to sing the emphasis is bland
So I keep changing phrases but each one of them sounds dumb

Oh, Jeez, would someone please help me to write this
I must continue mending all these lines 'til they're good enough to submit
I'm stuck without a clue and it's past bed-time, still I'm writing 'poo'
At a dead-end; guess I'm whistling in the wind

all I need is one more sentence
and this piece will be submittable
But it should be fun to read
To receive some good comments
One good sentence will not be good enough

(Instrumental break)


Do not want 'just OK'
There's got to be some way
There must be words to say to make this thing go
I sit here in dismay
Thought process does betray
My brain has turned to hay; the wheels in there turn slow

This is starting to make me tense
I cannot match up these syllables
Man, I'm really getting steamed
'Cause right now I feel real dense
Did not think writing this would be that rough

I'm so tired of all this nonsense
Could my problem be subliminal?
This is harder than I dreamed
Thought I had the competence
Was deceived thinking I could do this stuff

~ ~ {Long Instrumental segment all the way to the end fade} ~ ~

~ (...Uh-uh-huh-huh-huh) ~

{Talking here)
...Oh.....hmmm....."deceive"..."DECEIVE!"...

{Singing again}
(Hey, that's my word!)

[From here to the end fade the Happy Author is dancing around and occasionally singing "Dee-ee-cee-ee-eee-eve, yeah, that's my wor-er-erd" to places in the instrumentals where it sort of fits, all the while tapping out the beat on a round, 18 ounce cardboard container of "Quick Rolled Oats", throwing in some quiet little, high bursts of "ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha's" where some sort of Middle-Eastern wind instrument comes in at some places]

~ ~ ~ the happy end ~ ~ ~