“Wood,” zut! “bois”’s the name
If you yawl it like Frenchmen.
“Will”: how you declaim
Depends on the declension.
“Fort” equals “strong,”
“Sur,” “sour” and “on,”
“No” is “non,” not pronounced NON—
Queer is Frenchin’

“Would”—declension land
When you yawl it by Frenchin’.
“Would”: “ais,” “ait,” “aient,” and
“iez,” “ions”[1] sneer Frenchmen.
You’ll find they say things different ways,
But “nénés” still are “nay-nays.”
Here’s to breasts, men!

“Temps”:[2] can’t bring it down,
“Temps” is not degrees,
“Temps” when some things start,
Also when things cease,
When they cease.

“Porte,” in short, “door,”
“Putain” is “whore”;
Alliteration: “Plus”’s “more”;
Here is Frenchin’.

“Wood” you now can say;
You can squall it like Frenchmen.
“Will”: “as,” “a,” “ai,” “ez,”
“ons,” and “ont,” the declension.[3]
“Puanteur” is “pong,”
“Bitte” you beat: “schlong.”
’fraid that one see no more song—
“Fear” declension.[4]


[1]Verb endings for the conditional tense
[2]Time
[3]For the future tense
[4]Certain expressions of fear in the main clause require the subjunctive mood in the subordinate clause. For example: Le chat a peur que le chien le morde. The cat is afraid that the dog will bite it. But: Le chien mord le chat. The dog bites the cat. (“Mordre,” to bite.) The subjunctive sometimes has different endings from the present tense in the indicative mode.

Present indicative:
je mords
tu mords
il mord
nous mordons
vous mordez
ils mordent

Present subjunctive:
que je morde
que tu mordes
qu' il morde
que nous mordions
que vous mordiez
qu' ils mordent

Only the third person plural endings are the same.