Let me give you a little background history on this.
Several years ago, my best friend and I created a
rapping gorilla character named Shady. When The Real
Slim Shady came out, I decided it was THE perfect song
for "Shady" to parody.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Shady please cut the cheese?
I repeat, will the real Shady please cut the cheese?
Fttttttt!
We're gonna have a problem here...
Y'all act like you never seen a monkey before
Jaws all on the floor like S. Curley just bust down
the door
and kickin' some butt worse than before
he lost his mind, but that's okay, he can still fight
(Ahh!)
It's the return of ... "Ah, wait, no way, he didn't
toot, did he?"
And The S said... everything, you bakas!
The S wrote this rap, he's the man! (Yeah!)
Everyone loves Shady {*vocal turntable:
Shada Shada Shady *} "Shady, I like him
Look at him, walkin around kickin' some you-know-what
Beatin' you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's a monkey!"
Yeah, I got a head noose
cuz' I got more than a coupla screws loose
I play Mortal Kombat in my arcade, dudes
and Weird Al's here getting' the goose
"Better squeeze all that Charmin you can while Mr.
Whipple's not around"
'Cuz King Louis will smash you on the ground
And watch what I toss around
And the pro-wrestlers smell like a mound
of dookey, because their ring ain't round
By the time they're in the locker room
They're watchin' the competition
See if they can get a little intermission
to see what's going on so they can get a head on
{*Fttttt*}
So don't go smokin' dope
'Cuz if you do, you're gonna croak
{*Ahhhhh!*} So don't do it, that's the antidote
Wave your snot rags, and sing this here, it goes
Chorus: (repeat 2X)
I'm Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Shady please cut the cheese,
please cut the cheese, please cut the cheese?


Hey, Eminem, I don't gotta cuss either
The worse I ever do is "butturd" and "anushole"
You remember that old game show with the Whammy?
Playin' Half-Life with my Granny
"But Shady, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
No, It's my grandma, ya hear?
I'm gonna sit here with Agumon and Pikachu
Talk about all the stuff we can do
when we're done, I'll yak with Drew Carey
and the guy on 3rd Rock who plays as Harry
I'm gonna plaster this on my CD
Laughin' all the time goin' "A he he!"
I don't care if I get put on MP3
that just don't seem illegal to me{*Yeah!*}
Just like ROMs and Emulating
I do that all the time, you see {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of you just like me
who laugh like me; dance like me
who toot like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite
me!
Chorus
I'm kinda trippy, but I'm not on weed
I only beat those who threaten
the very balance of good and evil
There's nothin' out there that makes me sick
Hey, there's some candy on the ground I can lick
So I'm out there with Beef Jerky on a stick
You people think that I might suck
Don't be surprised if you get hit by a semi-truck
Because bad things happen to bad people
Remember Michael Jackson? He was evil
So everywhere you hear shouts of Charizard, Crash,
Sonic and Mario
Never think of the people who will make you sorry, oh
'Cuz it seems like everyone wantsta be Shady
I'll still kick your butt when I'm eighty
{*Ahhh!*} At least I'm not fruity like Wayne Brady
Who thinks he can sing
He's just askin' Richard Simmons for a wedding ring
So, will the real Shady please cut the cheese?
{*Ftttt!*} What a stinky breeze.
Maxin' at home, feelin' my butt grow
Sing it again, how does it go?
Chorus 2X
A he he!
Guess there's a Shady in all of us
Heck with this, let's all cut the cheese