[Spoken by Assistant CEO]
Welcome aboard
It is with confidence and common sense
That you will serve our customers
And now, take a seat at your desk and relax
As our office proudly presents
The Bull-$#!%

[Supervisor #1]
Off - ice - work
Office care
Office all-day-in-a-chair
Here's your pager, here's your desk
And here's the cubicle you'll share
You will sit
In that square
Eight straight hours so prepare
Our customers' complaining
Is what you will be restraining

[Supervisor #2]
They will curse

[Supervisor #3]
They will fight

[Supervisor #1]
And you'll tell them it's alright
You'll convince them that their problem isn't there
For all unanswered problems
Say "we're working on them"
We don't care
We don't care
WE DON'T CARE

[Supervisor #2]
Go ahead
Sign right here
Our contract makes it clear
If you're late too much or state too much
You won't be working here

[Supervisor #4]
You'll be nice
And polite

[Supervisor #3]
And you'll get out late each night

[Supervisor #4]
Plus the system started freakin'
So you'll have to work the weekend

[Supervisor #2]
You'll get stressed
And depressed
"Cause on lunch breaks, you won't rest

[Supervisor #3]
You'll be running errands for us far and near

[Supervisors #4 and #5]
And your priority
It changes randomly
Now is that clear?

[Supervisor #3]
Get in gear
This job will expand your rear

[Supervisors #2-#5]
Is that clear?
Is that clear?
Is that clear?

[Supervisor #5]
When it's beaurocratic
Things are much less problematic
Many eyes now supervise the things you do
Ah, when supervisors used to do work
Finally, those olden days are through
Now we'll reward your devotion
By delaying your promotion
And we'll say "You're just too good at what you do"
We act and also look a lot like Vogons
Added to that caper
We will NOT return your stapler

[Supervisor #6]
Boot on up
Press display
Wonder why your screen is gray
Straight from hell
Here's your new Dell
And it will crash most every day
It shuts off
Have you heard?
Every time you open Word
Our fax is overloaded
And the printer just exploded
If your screen is ever blue
Our techs will laugh at you
And if they need any parts they'll make you pay
And if you multitask
Oh don't even ask
So, press display

[Supervisors #1-#5]
Press display

[Supervisor #6]
Crash away

[Supervisors #1-#5]
Crash away

[Supervisors #1-#6]
Here's a list
That we tweak
Of how you're allowed to speak

[Supervisor #7]
Seven bosses count your losses
And remind you every week

[Supervisors #1-#6]
Above all
Don't disclose
Just how much our product blows
If you're bad
WE'LL FIRE TRUCKLOADS
If you're good
WE'LL TRIPLE WORKLOADS

[Supervisors #1-#14]
You might swear
You might bitch
We won't care, 'cause we'll be rich
And we'll can your ass before you get your share
Just when you might retire
That's when you we'll fire
And so there
Pension's bare
It's not fare

[Supervisors #1-#14, Board of Meeting Organizers, and Assistant CEO]
But
WE
DON'T
CARE