The Lyrics

Quick disclaimer mon--Dis song is meant to be satirical. Dat means if you are mentioned it is really a compliment. And if you are not mentioned and are offended, let me know and I'll tell you dat you suck too.

Dis place is de right place for me
Is good ting I come along
But why do dey all ignore me
When I write de greatest song?

Just look at de udder songs here
Dey all make me want to snore
I tink dat de voting's wrong here
I know what you're looking for-

Wonderful ME!
Wonderful MEE!
Why are you waiting? Make wit de rating!
Fives--one, two, tree!
Reading my songs you're in for treat!
Wonderful ME, I can't be beat!
See my name click it; give fives den stick it!
Wonderful MEE!

I tink dat I should be famous
Don't know why I am not yet
Dese guys are all in de same bus
But I'm in de turbo jet

All dese udder songs ain't no good
Believe me, I know it's true!
If dey did not suck den dey would
Be written by you-know-who!

Wonderful ME!
Wonderful MEE!
Tell all you grammas, make like de spammas!
Vote frequentleee!
Tell every friend and Mom and Pop
Dey need to put me on de top!
Stop all de jiving; get wit de fiving
Wonderful MEE!

Wonderful ME!
Wonderful MEE!
Is so exciting, tings I am writing
Don't you agree?
Even de ones guy know de score
I am de one dat he ignore
Why are you pausing? Just start applausing!
Wonderful MEE!

De Mike me no like
De Spaff need de baff
De Royce not de choice
Dey no make me laugh
De Phil write de swill
De Rice not so nice
And like feet smells de DiRito!
(Pheeew!)
De MooRocca no fly
De Jeff musta left
My name is de lame
Dey call him Groan Def
De Merry and Pip
Dey no got equip'
And oh, dem Flori-BLOOOWS!

***************************

Wonderful ME!
Wonderful MEE!
What was you tinking? Dem guys are stinking!
So profuseleee!
What do dey got? A lot of crap!
Dey make me want to take a long nap!
Instead of snoozing, you should be choosing
Wonderful MEE!

I am much better; put it togedder!
Wonderful MEE!
Even de Chucky know dey all sucky
Why do dey bodder? My stuff much hotter!
What are you doing? No fair, you're booing
Wonderful MEEE!

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Spaff.com - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment

De Claude quite de stod

Phil Alexander - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment

If there was a six for "how funny"... simply the funniest song I've read for a long, long time. Absolutely brilliant.

Phil (again) - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment

PS... I was singing it out loud for a colleague looking over my shoulder, and it made him laugh out loud, too: so it's not just my silly sense of humour ;-)

Bubba - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment

Fives...one, two, tree!

Static - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment

5-5-5... no, 6-6-6.

TV O.D. - September 19, 2003 - Report this comment

static, You can't vote 6-6-6... although you probably wish you could. There are 5 holes in each row on the voting form.

Wild Man - September 19, 2003 - Report this comment

Claude, only you could pull something like this off. LOL!

Static - September 20, 2003 - Report this comment

i know... lol

Claude Prez - September 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Thanks everyone. Wild Man--"pulled something off"? Sounds painful. Seriously, lately I've been a little preoccupied with the dynamics of this place and I hope it was obvious that this was just an attempt to use exaggeration to ridicule the self-obsessed attitude we sometimes get a glimpse of, usually from our younger members. So now we can chuckle at the irony of my being obsessed with the idea that someone may have misunderstood it. Or not; either way I appreciate the comments and votes and sorry I couldn't think of a derogatory rhyme for "wild" (among others).

Wild Man - September 22, 2003 - Report this comment

What I applaude Claude, is that you take risks. You not only think out of the box, you often write stuff that's out of this world. Even your Monkey shines had me ROFL. I think everyone took it in jest. I would'nt sweat it.

Melhi - September 22, 2003 - Report this comment

Claude, I'm really hurt, how could you............write something this funny while I was away? Gee whiz, man, I might have missed it! This is off the scale funny!

Jammin' Jeff - September 23, 2003 - Report this comment

LOL. Hey De Jeff musta left. Well, yes he did, BUT I WILL COME BACK! Soon as I could think of something that could make me get back on the top 10 list. Or something that could actually be nominated for an AmIRight Award. Something BIG! Don't worry, I SAHLL RETURN AND WHEN I DO I WILL DO MY DAMNDEST TO GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS SITE MY BEST PARODIES YET!

Jammin' Jeff - September 23, 2003 - Report this comment

Oh by the way ALL 5's for this parody.

Loosekanen (The Armstrong) - September 23, 2003 - Report this comment

Guy.... while I have frequently thoght your stuff is crap, this is maybe the best song I've read here in a long time. This rivals our best. I enjoy the fact that the pacing is good, and I also enjoy the fact that you really told it like it is. My only caution to you would be... the 1,1,1 monster only hits those who are famous, so the great irony is that you clamoring for attention will only bring your parody vote averages way down... but quality work here nonetheless.

Claude Prez - September 23, 2003 - Report this comment

Thanks all. Wild Man--I'm sure you're right. Melhi--Glad you're back; hope everything's OK. JJeff--I hope you do come back, but remember it's not good to focus too much on votes or awards or especially the top ten list, because then there's more for MEMEME!! Loosekanen--That's not the only great irony.

Claude Prez - September 23, 2003 - Report this comment

LK--Unless you were joking, in which case holy crap that's deadpan.

Really Infamous Dude - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment

I am de 1,1,1 monsta dat you fear. Jus kitting! I Don't know hoo diidit! Whud a loozer! Goosh job!!!

Jeff Reuben - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment

Just curious, which Jeff were you referring to? =)

Claude Prez - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment

The one that rhymes with "Def". Honestly, both the "Jeff" and the "Mike" were meant to refer to anyone with that name who wanted a good-natured insult so I guess you'll have to share the bounty. (You buy that, right?)

Smurf and Mr. Horse - October 06, 2003 - Report this comment

Very very funny attack on the pack!!! Great one Claude!

Name witheld - October 17, 2003 - Report this comment

Great, more modest y like this required!. % across.

Suzie Cream Cheese - December 01, 2003 - Report this comment

I really loved this one!!

Mr. X - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment

Very well written! You get fives in all categories

Serafina - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment

It's been so long since I've seen the Little Mermaid movie, but I remember the song. You did a great job parodying it!

Claude Prez - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment

Tank you for de comments mon

Mr. X - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment

Claude, who is "mon"? Lots of people commented between September 26th and yesterday (including me), so I'm a bit confused. Perhaps you should explain what you mean?

Claude Prez - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment

mon ami

Mr. X - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment

I still don't get it. Would you explain it in English, por favor?

who cares what my name is - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment

To Mr. X: "mon" is probably a collective term. That's my guess.

Maya - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment

No it isn't. You're insane.

who cares what my name is - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment

Mr. X is just asking what "mon" means; I was trying to help him out. Obviously I made a mistake; that's no reason to be terse. Do you have any idea what mon means?

2nz - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment

This is, like, exactly what the title says. EXCELLENT CLAUDE. This be amazing mon. Nicely done. Bravo. Seriously, I needed a laugh just now.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment

Honestly Mr X, I'm from Australia and know that 'mon' is the Jamaican-accent equivelant of 'man' and in the context of 'mon ami' is 'my friend'.

who cares what my name is - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment

Ah yes, I knew dat. Sorry mon. ;D

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment

You knew what? You replied to your own comment before I could! I was just appalled that someone who is exposed to this accent in your pop culture every day and has half the nation idolising Bob Marley wouldn't know simple lingo such as 'mon'.

Claude Prez - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment

Thanks for bringing more attention to my song mon.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment

Keep a bee-boppin wit da reefa love mon!

Lou Philsister - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment

It's good, but Mend My PC is better...

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment

Yipes, I've read this before? I was going through it thinking how freakin' awesome it was and how I'd missed it before when I'm clearly there a mere 13 months ago! Still gobsmackingly hilarious!

Johnny D - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment

(Ego Parody Contest) So cute! The parody, that is. ;-)

Rick C - August 20, 2005 - Report this comment

(Ego Parody Contest) I sure am glad I wasn't around here to get torn to shreds when you wrote this :-). Brilliant and a riot! 555

Scathe - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment

(EGO) Yikes.

Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment

(EGO) Even da Chucky know dey all sucky - LOL! - and what Rick C said, including the "Brilliant" bit

Kristof Robertson - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment

(EGO) Written well before my time...but utterly chucklesome! 555

Mikey Squirrel - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment

EGO-- Let's see.. OK you submitted this 1993. I started posting here in May 2005. So that Mike isn't me. -whew- With that in mind.. very clever and witty parody, Claude.

Arwen - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment

EGO--thank heaven for this contest! I feel like I've seen this before, and yet...I never commented? How could that be?? This is more than wonderful, Claude...it's Perfect! The. Best. Period.

Jeff Reuben - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment

EGO: I hate it when I miss a song where I'm mentioned. Well done!

Death To Triple One Voters - November 22, 2005 - Report this comment

DAMMIT! Why did someone have to spoil the perfect 5-5-5 ballot box by entering a triple one? The Ones Guy needs to die.

Wolverine33 - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment

Your probably right , with dis parody it seems your much wittier and clever dan most of de stuff I've seen here. Congratulations. 5 dumbs day up!

Red Ant - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment

Very funny work here, Claude, just excellent. This is probably the best site-specific parody here. "It's not bragging if you can back it up."